Awaiting Destiny

Kiss GoodnightTaken from the book:
 
Rock-A-Bye BabyGirls: The Stories of Time
KindleNookPDF EbookSmashwords
 

here is a story about the power of firsts and how time is spent getting where we’re headed.

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Awaiting Destiny

When you meet someone new, you are suddenly thrust into an awakening of your emotions.  As you get to know that new someone, your emotions heighten or lessen – based on how that new person makes you feel about yourself.  Intrigue becomes the cornerstone of a pursuit that, when left to grow naturally, leads to a simple, innocent crush.  And, in what may seem like a blur, you find yourself reflecting on two things:  The Passing of Time and First Memories.

Each holds a special place in your heart, and while following instinct, you await your destiny.

Destiny was her name and she firmly believed that from the day she was born, she would live up to the name she had been given.  Everyone she had ever met could see the destiny in her and the cheery disposition she carried lived up to her middle name … Joy.

She was a believer in many things – in the difference between right and wrong, in the power of a positive attitude, in the acceptance that she couldn’t change everything she wanted to and in the conviction behind following one’s heart.

She always thought the best of people and saw the forthcoming rainbow in the drops of rain that trickled down her bedroom window.  She seized opportunities when they presented themselves and dove whole-heartedly into each chance to make a difference.

She certainly didn’t see herself as a target for ridicule, but she learned in high school that there would always be people who need to steal happiness from others because they didn’t know how to be happy themselves.  In college, she learned that there were people who would always dream without seeking, people who would always seek without dreaming and people who would never see rainbows at all.

By the time she graduated college, she knew that most people weren’t looking for their destinies, just simply to find a place they could be comfortable in.  But her heart would never settle for such a fate and she knew that everyone was capable of finding their destinies.  They had simply stopped trying and it was plain to see.

But the day she received that first email from Victor, she trustingly threw her heart into pursuit of something which was highly unlikely, but would certainly have been destiny if it were true.  And there was only one way to find out …

She emailed back to him and asked for his phone number.  Ten minutes later, they were talking.  Emails weren’t revealing enough of one’s soul.  But since her heart pounded from what he wrote, she had to hear his voice soon.  He was a breath of fresh air in a sea of creepers.  And from one phone call to the next, Victor passed several tests he didn’t realize she was putting him through.  She had to be certain he was real and it would take time before she would unblock her number for him to see.

Caution didn’t get in the way of destiny – at least not at such an early point.  But in short order, she had found intrigue and that intrigue led to the crush she was waiting for.  They would speak on the phone for a month before they ever mentioned anything about the fetish they shared.  Maybe that was the most important test he had passed.  Once the topic came up, they spent countless hours getting into the details of it, but long before the flavor of their conversation left vanilla, a connection between them had formed.  So when they did finally get around to the whole Daddy’s Girl thing, they knew so much more about each other and she felt so much more comfortable with opening her little heart to him, telling him about her little side.

They talked night after night for hours – sometimes saying good night to each other as the sun rose.  They never seemed to run out of things to talk about.  And finding many common interests, it made it very natural for her to finally call him Daddy.

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It was 10 pm on a Sunday night.  Destiny had found a way to get off work early and she immediately began a road trip with a destination unlike any other she had ever attempted to reach.  Drumming her fingers on the steering wheel, she practically bounced up and down for how excited she was.  The light finally turned green and she pulled out of the pet store parking lot – bound for something she knew only as … Day One.

For all her positive beamings, Destiny had fallen victim in time past to the cruelties that competition for the boys had dealt her.  But she picked herself each time and found no guilt in crying tears when she didn’t win the favor of Jimmy the high school quarterback (who made her laugh in chemistry class each day), Derrick the captain of her co-ed volleyball team in college (who always jokingly patted her on the head when she saved the ball from going out) or Enrique her exotic co-worker at the veterinary clinic where she did her internship (who always called her little girl because of her affinity for wearing pigtails to work.)

She smiled bittersweetly at the memories of them as she pulled out onto the highway, heading north to Victor.  It wasn’t her failure to get them to like her back which filled her memories, but rather, how those three losses helped her to piece together a secret little wish in her heart that spelled out age play.  And thinking back on Jimmy, Derrick and Enrique, she remembered how her tummy used to flutter when they would give her the attention she did receive from them.  They were always kind, pleasant and somewhat coddling of a shyness she simply couldn’t shake when the crushes hit her.  But from them, she learned that her shyness was actually the perfect starting point from which to build an innocent emotion.

She put her foot on the gas.  Time lost in thoughts of the past should never come at the expense of where she was headed.  And besides, her Daddy was Awaiting Destiny.

Picking up speed, Destiny stared at the yellow lines in the middle of the road, thinking about Victor. 

She remembered the first day they met face-to-face at that late-night grease spoon diner on the same road which she traveled now.  Oh, what a night that was.  Much like any girl would’ve been when first meeting a guy she likes, she was nervous and she recalled how she couldn’t keep her knees from bouncing – at least not until he reached under the table and placed his hand on her left knee.  The look in his eyes was gentle, but still firmly directed to non-verbally make clear that she needed to settle herself down.  And that became the next first for her – the feeling of being controlled by being taken care of and watched out for.  It was the first, but luckily, the first of many.

By the time they finished eating and said goodbye, her worries that he wouldn’t like her when he saw her in person were but a memory in a time which seemed to have passed by quickly.  When she went to bed that night, she kept thinking about how comfortable she felt when around him, how that hand on her knee made her swoon for more attention and how she couldn’t wait to feel it all again.  She would spend many nights in a row, reliving that first at the diner.

But the best thing about a first was looking forward to the second.  The following weekend, they traveled to an open-air flea market where she went crazy when she saw all the toys from her childhood.  She became so excited that she would begin sprinting from one table to the next in search of more pieces of time past.  He eventually took hold of her hand so she wouldn’t go running off anymore. 

When he did this, that fluttering returned to her stomach, accompanied by a tingle which covered her skin with pins and needles of excitement.  And in a state of mind when all her senses were alive, she listened to him begin to speak to her in such a syrupy-sweet tone that she melted at the timbre of his voice.  Her eyes took on a glassy shimmer that made pristine windows of her irises to her soul. 

Without realizing it, she had her first experience with littleness

She loved the sound of a male voice, especially when it had that Daddy tone that anyone could hear, but only a little-at-heart could feel.  The attention she received from him at that flea market, on the phone, in text message and every other time they made a date – all began to make her feel exactly the same way she did when she was little.  Her positive outlook added nostalgia as she would revisit those days in her life before she grew into make-up, clothing and trying to get notice – before people wanted things from her – back when all she knew was that everyone adored her and did all they could just to make her happy and see her smile.

She squealed with excitement as she turned onto his road – Devonshire Lane.  She was now three miles from his house.  Her time with Victor had re-opened the need for littleness in her heart and in her life.  He not only had a bond with her that no one had ever taken the time to make before, but it had a dynamic which awakened his need to care and made it very natural for him to finally call her his BabyGirl.

He told her that he didn’t want her to do anything until she wanted to, until it was time to.  And it was that word … time … which carried her thoughts into her dreams – not just at night but whenever she had an idle moment.  He said that when she was ready, she should tell him it was time.  She took his advice seriously and waited until the thought of being babied was something which didn’t completely overwhelm her – simply in thought.

That particular phone call came just a few short days ago, when she told him she managed to get Monday off from work and she was ready – that it was time.  Well … Monday was tomorrow and she would remember it as Day One.  It would be, as Victor called it, the first day of the rest of her life.  And on this one day, from sun up to sun down, she would experience all the littleness she could ever dream of – at his hands.

Pulling into his driveway, her heart started pounding, the tingle washed over her skin, that fluttering feeling took over her tummy and she had to lean back on the seat to keep from getting dizzy.  Parking her car behind his, she picked up her toothbrush – the one and only thing Victor had told her to bring with her.  Taking careful steps towards his front door, she didn’t know what to expect – only that he was going to take care of her.  She knew that she felt a certain way, but didn’t know why.  Together, they would fill in all the blanks.

The front light turned on and Destiny stopped walking as Victor walked out onto on the front porch on down the steps.  She became so overcome with joy to see him that she found herself paralyzed to move.  Suddenly, helpless and vulnerable took on new meaning … almost as if she was hearing them in her head for the first time.

“ello-Hay, abyGirl-Bay,” Victor said with a grin.

She smiled back, trying to take a step forward while remembering the day she taught him pig Latin.  At first, he wasn’t very good at it, but he quickly improved.  Looking at his image, made silhouetted by the front house light behind him, the sudden rush of all their firsts came back to mind:

  • the first email and then the second one
  • the first phone call
  • the sound of hearing his voice for the first time
  • that first account of hearing what his life was all about, in his own words
  • the planning to meet for the first time
  • that first sight of him that night at the diner.
  • the first twinkle in her eyes when she developed the crush
  • that first recognition that their dreams seemed to be the same

The memories from time past filled her heart and she broke free from the paralysis, sprinting towards him and into his open embrace.  They had hugged many times, but this was the first time he picked her up into his arms.  Instinct wrapped her legs around his waist.  She let him do the rest.

“Hello, BabyGirl,” he whispered with a voice so syrupy-sweet that she melted into littleness right away.

Seeing her chin lowering and they want for attention glazing over her eyes, he took the nipple of the pacifier he had waiting in his right hand and touched it to her lower lip.

“Open,” he said softly.

She delicately parted her lips, reaching out with the tip of her tongue to receive the nipple.  She took it in her mouth, closing her lips around the bite.  And instantly, the littleness coursing throughout her senses filled the glow across her cheeks, made angelic by the moonlight.

“That’s a good girl,” he said sweetly and softly, patting her bottom through her work pants.

She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his sternum.  Closing her eyes, she took in the scent of his body in the heat which rose up from him.  Everything was absolutely perfect.  It was exactly what she had dreamed, exactly what she had sought and exactly what she had wished for with each disappointment from time past and from rainbows envisioned.

He carried her up to the front door.  She lifted her head up, resting her chin on his shoulder to take one final look back at her car and remember the journey it took to get here, the firsts they refused to cheat out of and this – the first night at his place.

Day One was about to begin.

Rock-A-Bye BabyGirls: The Stories of Time
KindleNookPDF EbookSmashwords

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The Rock-A-Bye Series

 

Thoughts and Other Journeys of the Mind
Short and Sweet Stories
The Stories of Time
Yittlin Extreme

4 responses to “Awaiting Destiny

  1. Pingback: Awaiting Destiny – Part Two of Two | zorroabdaddy.com

  2. Pingback: Rock-a-Bye BabyGirls: The Stories of Time | zorroabdaddy.com

  3. Pingback: As Sweet as Heaven (Part One of Two) | zorroabdaddy.com

  4. Pingback: As Sweet as Heaven (Part Two of Two) | zorroabdaddy.com

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