When Someone Touches Your Heart

I’ve debated posting this for a long time. It’s a very personal story. After having controlled my emotions enough to tell a few people this story, I figured it was time to post it outright………

When I was in third grade, an exchange student was introduced to our class. It was on March 8th (my birthday), and I had just turned nine. She was the tiniest little thing I had ever seen. She was terribly shy.

I walked up to her on her first day and introduced myself. I found out inside of about 20 seconds why she was so terribly shy. She was incontinent. Completely incontinent.

I didn’t know the word “incontinent” in third grade, but that’s what she was, and she wore a diaper all the time. She was so embarrassed to have told me, and she begged me not to tell anyone. I told her not to worry. I would say nothing to anyone, and I offered her a seat next to me at lunch.

She was new and knew no one at all. (That has to be one of the worst moments of a new student’s day when they get their tray of food and then look for a seat in the lunchroom.)

I think it was at lunch that somebody discovered she was wearing a diaper. She was wearing a little red poka-dotted country dress on that day. Somehow her diaper became visible, and my Lord … I can still hear them teasing her. The entire lunchroom soon knew. She was mortified, completely crushed. I remember the tears streaming down her face. She could hardly swallow her food. It was horrible.

She was particularly nervous on days when she wore dresses, for obvious good reason. In that time, I began to not only care for this girl and her condition, but I sort of became her protector … her caregiver, if you will.

We went out to recess after that, and she was still beside herself. I walked over to her and asked her if she was all right. She just stood there crying her eyes out, and then an emotion came over me that made me take her in my arms. I hugged her, and she balled into my chest.

Then some kids (some of which were close friends of mine) came over and started teasing her again, and I lost it. I started screaming back at everybody to stop. They wouldn’t.

No one ever got to know her, and she & I became joined at the hip. I even told the teacher to put move me next to her.

And that was her experience at the school, and in her everyday life. She and her family moved away in June and I never saw her again, but from that experience, I developed the desire to be a caregiver. It took several years before I pieced together what I felt from that experience, but I know I really wanted to take care of her.

And it wasn’t until I was 22 that I discovered “infantilism” on the internet. I researched it for years, found a bazillion websites titled as having ABDL content (Adult Baby Diaper Lover).

I looked for her all over the internet, and couldn’t find her. It was a long shot that she had found some sort of “peace” with her condition or even enjoyment from it. She must have had a horrible childhood because of it, but I was always hopefully that she found some sort of relief.

I never found her, but realized that a part of my heart, a very large part of my heart belonged to that girl. How she made me feel and how I made her feel turned into a “bond” that was inseparable.

Nowadays, I can summarize my interest in it best with: For me “it’s about a girl in a diaper and the guy who takes care of her.”

I believe this life experience to be the reason why I’m a “Daddy” at heart.

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