Category Archives: Of the Heart

The Birth of a Heartbeat and the Discoveries to Follow

There are so many influences behind the dynamic between a Daddy and a BabyGirl. And those influences will be different for every couple, making them unique from all others.

Part of where a Daddy’s Adoration and a BabyGirl’s Giddiness comes from is the connection that the two individuals have. It’s a bonding of their hearts which produces every emotion, every sensation and every reaction. That’s when you know you’ve found what you were looking for and more importantly, who you were looking for.

And it all begins with one single, solitary flash in her mind, that, as a Daddy, transforms you and gives you a new sense of purpose which will remain with you for the rest of your life …

That’s the Birth of a Heartbeat and the Discoveries which Follow.

It’s a wonderful moment and one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed in my life. I will never forget it and would never want to.  It is nothing shy of the very beginning of a lifetime spent loving someone.

But not just anyone.  Rather, the girl you met who chose to follow her heart and become the BabyGirl you could see within her all along.

That initial instant when her mind crosses the barrier of fantasy and accepts that her dream is now reality.

But it’s not really the stuff that dreams are made of or that perfect fairy tale ending. That sort of thing takes time and work and two souls that want the same thing. It’s far simpler than all of that … It’s just the beginning.

She lies before you in a t-shirt and the diaper you just put her in.  The pacifier between her lips is being feverishly nibbled as she attempts to sort out the plethora of thoughts and sensations filling her mind and her senses.

She is now a BabyGirl.  And she’s never felt that littleness before because of someone. She certainly thought about it, but now she feels it and it’s more intense than she had imagined.

Somewhere in the realm of littleness, obvious for the flushed and blushing color of her face, there exists a hope that she will be made to feel the same degree of safety to she just relinquished by opening her soul and allowing the secret desires of a little girl’s heart to make her vulnerable.

Her eyes light up for the first time with a gaze of defenseless surrender. Her irises dance with an excitement she doesn’t yet know what to do with, but for this moment she finds contentment in simply being mesmerized by the prevailing beating of her heart.

Perhaps it’s brought on by a surrounding that makes her comfortable to be little. Perhaps it’s her outfit or the diaper or the pacifier or the bottle. Maybe it’s all of that or none of it.

Maybe it’s the way she has been spoken to, treated, regarded and cared for by her new Daddy.

Whatever the reason was, she is consumed by overwhelming feelings which have married together the innocence of her soul’s desire and the passions of her mind. What this means is: every piece of her has been affected by a dynamic and a fantasy she only ever hoped would be more than a castle in the sky some day.

The Pursuit of “Picture Perfect”

We all have “dream scenarios”. Some of them we perfect, in our minds.  This is one of those perfect dream scenarios of mine.

I’ve made several attempts at putting this dream scenario into story form, but I just haven’t written it perfectly yet.

But I see this picture and envision the whole story.

The right words will come to me to write it perfectly some day.  And I will take her there, regardless of whether her name is Lily, Mia, Rose, Penny or whomever. 

It will be perfect.

The Torture of “Not Knowing”

Has any one ever asked you how you knew you were an AB or a DL or a Daddy or a Mommy (or whatever applies)?

Below are links to a two-part video of a speech I gave at NELIcon 2011.

This isn’t a fantasy or bed time story. It’s for real and one of the most pivotal things that ever happened to me.

When I Was In 3rd Grade … Part One

There’s a moment in life when you learn who you will become. This story was my moment.

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When I Was In 3rd Grade … Part Two

Action isn’t as easy to take as it seems, but when faced with fight or flight, you learn who you are inside.

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Here’s the complete story in writing: When Someone Touches Your Heart

Something so Familiar

So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we find the answers we seek, they soon become inevitable.” – Unknown

Words describe it, but nothing can express what a dream feels like in real life. You simply have to experience it to know.

The Daddy and BabyGirl dynamic takes every emotion, every ounce of love and life you share with one another in a relationship and adds an impassioned meaning to it all. It is natural for her to feel “little” and long to have her senses, her heart and her mind affected when you treat her with a kindness, love and tenderness that melts the soul of a BabyGirl instantly.

As you grow together, you find what sustains you in life – realizing what is important and what is less important, to both of you. You will change because of her. And if it was meant to be she’ll change, too, because of you. That’s when it ceases to be a Dream and becomes a Dream-Come-True.

There’s love which seems best for the moment. And there’s love which seems best for a lifetime. It’s a matter of figuring out which is best for you. You’re always looking for that person who is looking for you. Meeting someone who sees and pursues it as you do is where fate may well come into it. – unless you all ready have them – to cherish and be cherished by. Then the “lifetime” can begin.

If she excites and connects with you, seeks a bonding of hearts, to love and be loved, to share all her life with you, to trust and find fulfillment, has the littlest of hearts and the simplest of souls, is she the “reality” which includes your fantasy? Are you the “reality” which includes hers?

There’s a fine line between feeling something and knowing you can never feel it enough. There’s also a fine line between the next 30 days and the next 30 years. And that’s okay because not everything winds up being what you thought it was. You do live, learn and grow. It wouldn’t be healthy if you didn’t. Maybe there’s a reason for that and maybe that’s where fate comes into it again.

And you’ll be wiser for the future, to know to do it all again, to not be jaded and to lay your heart out again for someone, not because you didn’t learn before, but because you did learn. – She is worth it. – She is worth every bit of your heart and every bit of your love because she longs to receive the same thing you long to give … and what that specifically is will bond the two of you.

The past speaks volumes about people, but never defines who they are. It merely shows who they’ve been all ready and helps define who they’ll be in the future, the fantasy sought in the reality found. Either for now or forever , whichever the heart dreams for.

Your heart never loses what it feels and grows stronger for what it needs. And what it needs may arrive as someone you were not expecting, whether you met that person all ready or whether she is still a perfect stranger.

You smile and say hello, realizing there is something so familiar all ready.

The Restoration of Fairy Tales

The Complexity of Belief and the Unlikeliest of Unities

One of the greatest inventions of all time, perhaps even greater than the automobile or the television or the computer, has been the fairy tale.  It gives us something to dream about, something to think about, something to write about and something to trust in. 

No device is needed to bring a fairy tale to life in our minds, just our imaginations and our fantasies … and maybe a little belief.

But belief can be a tricky thing.  It can create turmoil when we discover that others don’t quite see it the way we do.

Continue Reading …

The “Daddy”-tude

We are attracted to people who we can relate to and with whom we find the right things in common.  We look for an ease of communication and a chemistry which can connect us in ways that we can’t with others.  This is what can lead to that bonding of hearts and a connection of souls.  Then comes the ability to be so comfortable with each other that we can let down our personal guards and reveal those pieces of the puzzle which make us who we are, but only after we have found trust.

It’s a journey which seeks a foundation from which to build off of, a structure which will hold everything inside it that we choose to fill it with, and a roof which will never let anything escape us, even if we find our heads and our hearts in the clouds from time-to-time.

The dynamic we subscribe to in an age play relationship takes the usual method and does it one better by intensifying the emotions that can erupt from within us.  It is this intensity that turns our wants into our needs, our longings into our yearnings, our interests into our passions, our affections into the depths of love we embrace about each other with.

I’ve had vanilla relationships in my life, before I finally understood and listened to what my heart had been telling me all along.  And those vanilla relationships were wonderful.  But it was the age play relationships which included that “dynamic” that intensified the emotions and those were the girlfriends I got to know on a level far deeper than anything vanilla.

So what’s a “Daddy”-tude? It’s many different things to many different people.

As a Daddy, you don’t just want the BabyGirl you love. You need her. You are strong where she is weak and weak where she is strong. You crave the responsibility of protecting her and may often find yourself wanting to know exactly where she is, not because you’re obsessed, but because as a Daddy you need to know she is all right. He has instinct which makes him want to protect.

She is his best friend and the foremost thought on his mind. She is the passion which drives his actions, for the short-term but also for the long-term. She may not always see the long-term as clearly as he does and vice versa for the goals she sees.

Thoughts of her lead to actions and maybe it’s because thoughts of her create images of her which burn dreams of her into a Daddy’s mind. Continue reading …

Memories from FetFest: When a Stranger Knows You and Camping which is just … Awesome. ;)

Labor Day Weekend 2011 did not include the usual gathering of friends and family on a back deck for a picnic and a backyard for volleyball. It included the gathering of hundreds of people in a backyard where the games were a little more involved than volleyball and a whole hell of a lot more fun.

These are my semi-clear remembrances of the 38 Guinnesses, the Events, the Chance Meetings, the opening of avenues I never knew existed and the weekend which was … FetFest 2011.

Her name was April and thank god she was wearing a nametag because if she hadn’t been wearing it, I would’ve known nothing about her other than that she was the perfect pheromone height for me, but I’ll explain that some other time.

Perhaps I ought to start at the beginning … Continue reading …