Kindness … what a simple thought. Perhaps too simple. It’s easy to receive and easy to give out. Yet it often takes a backseat in many situations. And maybe that’s because it’s not required, nor is really a virtue. It’s simply a conscious decision you make to live by. And just because it is your decision, that doesn’t necessarily mean it is always easy to do. I recall quite a few times when I’ve smiled at someone I was telling off in my mind. But the Kindness was that it was just in my mind.
There’s no law that says you have to get along with everyone. And what an easy excuse to not be kind, huh? No. Kindness isn’t a virtue. It’s the lesson of learning Kindness that is virtuous. But so often I see a lack of Kindness that I pause to wonder why people are so cavalier with it. It is immediately after having read one of the most disturbing posts I have ever seen on FetLife that I write this. And as I read through it, I became sickened at what people choose to lack in themselves.
In life in general, the people I respond to the quickest and the fullest are those who aren’t jerks. In the sense of work, the people who show their leadership naturally are the ones who I believe deserve their positions of power. And for them, I will do everything I am supposed to do. For those who show clearly that they are anything but leaders, I will still do what I’m supposed to do for them … but it may require that person to repeat themselves.
Some may say that Kindness fixes nothing, perhaps preventing things from needing to be fixed. But certainly not the cure for a wound. To this, I would tend to disagree.
I recall a little girl who I met a few years ago who appeared in my life at the absolute perfect moment. She was, and still is, an angel. Inside of a short amount of time, she was able to ‘put humpty dumpty back together again’ as I have always stated it. LOL And it wasn’t tremendous insight that enabled her to do this for me, nor did she ever ask anything of me in return. Instead, she simply listened to what I said and repeated it back to me in a different set of words. And hearing it set my mind at ease.
Kindness. Plain and simple.
Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone felt that way, if everyone acted that way? Selflessly and with Kindness. But that isn’t the case, is it? There will always be people who are unnecessarily unkind. Perhaps they themselves are essential.
A dear friend of mine within this ABDL community believes so. He has often told me that the people we can’t stand aren’t really a nuisance at all. But rather, they are a necessity … a reminder of the kind of person we do not want to be like.
How unfortunate that is, yet how helpful it is, at the same time. Ultimately, that’s what we learn.
What we also learn is that people don’t like being preached to. They don’t like being told what rough edges they are believed to have and how self-improvement comes from within. And, yeah. Maybe that makes the most sense. You’ll only ever believe what you have learned on your own.
I guess this is why I don’t preach. I simply think and I write what I think. And for as much as people have a right to live life without any continuous sense of kindness, I do have the right to live that way. Not just being kind only when people are looking but being that way a lot more often than that. It’s so easy to smile pretty for crowd, in a face-to-face manner. But online has no face-to-face to it. Well, perhaps webcams do, but even then you are protected by distance. And Kindness is still optional.
That might be because we are often encouraged to not be kind. But even when someone visits cruelty on us, that doesn’t mean we were wrong to have shown them kindness. Nor does it mean that we were weak because we were kind.
And in a situation like that, you have many choices. Two of which come to mind at the moment:
#1 – You can ignore the effect that person’s cruelty had on you.
#2 – You simply smile at that person in the future while telling them off in your mind.
I guess there will always be people out there who will make me smile when I have no desire to. But in reality, those are the people who need to receive Kindness the most. And the greatest lesson I’ve learned came from a little girl who gave with Kindness and asked nothing in return. She taught me the kind of wisdom that doesn’t require age, but rather, heart. I can only hope to be as magnanimous as her.
We do what we choose to do. We say what we choose to say. We think what we choose to think. And Kindness will always be an option, but not a requirement. But whether we know it or not, we protect ourselves as well as those we love. And it will be Kindness that will always make us do so.
What a lovely thought, huh? Everyone holding hands and singing “We Are the World”. Right?
And yes, it all begins within one’s self. Grrr to the preaching!
You make your choice of who you are going to be and you will live with it. And that will be the only prolific move you will ever make that will ever matter.
Conventions, gatherings, parties, cliques, clubs, groups … simple human interaction … all of it. It will all come and go. There have been many before all of us and there will be many more to come after us. But that which will remain will be the choices we made.
And those choices can be affected with kindness.