Having Your Diaper … and Eating it, too.

14“Sweetheart, take your diaper out of your mouth.  That’s not how the game works,” her Daddy said softly, trying not to smile at her innocent mistake.

“Daddy,” the BabyGirl started off emphatically, looking up at him from in her high chair.  “You tol’ me dat when we got home I wud be eatin’ my diaper an’ dat I wud have lots of fun doin’ it an’ dat it wud be really yummy.  So, here I yam, eatin’ my diaper an’ havin’ fun but it don’t taste yummy.”

“Sweetheart, I told you that when we got home, we were going to play a very special game,” he said, taking the diaper out of her mouth and slipping a bib around her neck.

“Yeah, an’ I’m a-possed-ta eat my diaper,” the BabyGirl said, watching him carry the diaper over to the counter next to the fridge.

“Well not exactly,” he said, opening the fridge and getting a few things out.

“Huh-uh,” the BabyGirl insisted, recalling his exact words from their car ride.  “We had jus’ pulled outta da Toys R Us an’ I a-member ’cause you changed my diaper as soon as we got outta da store ’cause I made a stinky in da store an’ you tol’ me you were gonna change me when we got in da car.”

“That’s correct.  And when we pulled out of the parking lot, what did Daddy say next?” he asked, doing something with the items he took out of the fridge, but keeping his back turned to her so she couldn’t see what he was doing.

“Den you said we were gonna go home an’ I was gonna get a special bedtime snack ’cause I had been a good girl an’ not begged you to buy me every pink ting I seen in da toy store,” the BabyGirl babbled, certain she was right about this.  “An’ den you tol’ me dat I was gonna eat my diaper.”

“No,” her Daddy said, turning around while holding the diaper flat in his hands.

He walked over to her and placed the diaper on the plastic high chair tray in front of her.   She looked down at the diaper to see a dark brown and dark tan sludge in the middle of it.

“Daddy, I didn’t do dat,” the BabyGirl said as her Daddy took her wrists and put them behind her back.

“I know you didn’t do that, baby. I did,” her Daddy said, walking back around in front of her, sticking his finger in the poopy-looking sludge and then licking his finger.  “It’s chocolate pudding and butterscotch pudding and little marshmallows.”

The BabyGirl looked down at the sludge and then back up to her Daddy and then back down to the sludge and then back up to her Daddy.

“Daddy didn’t say you’d be eating your diaper when we got home,” he said with a smile.  “Daddy said you’d be eating out of your diaper when we got home.”

The BabyGirl stared at the pudding sludge in the diaper in front of her for a few seconds.  And then it finally registered.  She plunged her entire face into the 14adiaper, her Daddy grabbing hold of her hair in the nick of time to prevent it from getting chocolatey. 

The BabyGirl ate everything inside that diaper and then sat back up.  Her face was a mess but her eyes spoke volumes of the littleness she had just plunged into as well – along with the self-discovery that you can have your diaper and eat it, too.


25 “Little Thoughts”
The Pictures Stories

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