here is a little story about what silence sounds like when you listen to it with your heart.
The Silence That Spoke Volumes –
(Start with “The Things You Learn … Again“)
Rose gripped both of the railings, set up as parallel bars in the center of the rehabilitation room. The braces on her wrists made it easier for her to steady herself but more difficult to grip the railings.
“No, don’t use your arms to find balance yet,” Olivia explained, positioning herself behind Rose and placing her hands on the girl’s hips. “Try to stay straight with your posture. In a moment, I’m going to have you lift your chin and walk as if you were balancing a book on your head. It will all make sense soon. Just trust me for now.”
Olivia was not only a nice lady but also the right kind of nurse for Rose. She wasn’t drained by her job and therefore never did just the bare minimum when caring for her patients. She was very big on explaining the why that needed to go along with how.
Rose looked down at the blue mat that lined the floor between the parallel railings. It looked like a super-thick yoga mat. And it would only take a small step forward to get onto it – a task that, at any other point in her life, would have been easy to perform … but not currently. Then again, that was the whole point of this exercise and the whole reason Rose was not only in the rehab room, but why she was in the rehab room in wrist and leg braces. If any of this was easy for her, it would mean that her recovery was close to being complete – a truth that gave her constant motivation.
“Okay, now gently spread your feet apart until they are directly underneath and in line with your shoulders,” Olivia instructed, Rose doing so – shuffling her feet apart slightly. “Good girl. Now, unbend your knees and straighten your legs. I know it’s a lot more comfortable to keep them bent. But you’ve got to focus on keeping them straight.”
Rose took in a deep breath and exhaled, then straightening her legs and whimpering softly at the pain in her hamstrings.
“That’s it. Now pull your shoulders back as you lean up,” Olivia instructed, her voice very soft and very calm and very patient in tone.
She understood every hesitation Rose had in doing the slightest little movements. For most people, these movements would be done without thinking about them. But for Rose, a patient with some serious injuries to overcome, it was as if she was being asked to sprint an Olympic marathon in world record time while holding a fifty pound sack of potatoes on her back and while scaling up the steepest side of Mount Everest.
Nothing was simple and nothing was quickly done. And Olivia gave Rose all the time that she would physically need. When Rose’s hesitation became mental, those were the moments when Olivia urged her forward a bit more aggressively. The psychological was often the more difficult obstacle to conquer.
Rose pulled her shoulders back, instantly feeling the tightness across her sternum. Then she began to lean up from her slightly hunched position, instantly feeling the ache in her lower lumbar … and then the middle of her back … and then just below her shoulder blades. Finally standing in an upright position with straightened posture and straightened legs, Rose was ready for a break. But she still hadn’t taken a full step yet. And the greatest battle of that rehab session was about to be waged.
“Now take a step forward, Rose,” Olivia said calmly, staying right behind her and keeping her hands on the girl’s hips – not really holding her up but being ready to catch her – should Rose go down.
Rose’s right leg twitched, her muscles’ reaction to trying to do what the message from her brain was telling them to do. But she just couldn’t step forward. It was a mixture of muscles and mindset not working together, just as Martha, her wellness counselor, had said. Oh, how the poor girl struggled, twitching a lot and looking more like she was battling Parkinson’s Disease than muscle atrophy and mental road blocks.
“You can do it, Rose,” Olivia said softly, Julia the second nurse opting to remain quiet as it seemed Rose was becoming overloaded with a great many things – from frustration to too much encouragement to physical fatigue.
Rose’s little mind was busy trying to find an alternate way to complete the task. But no matter how hard she concentrated, she couldn’t get her right hip, knee and ankle to work together. Tears of anger welled in her eyes, a slight sweat having broken out across her brow. She was getting upset, but from her aggravation came even more determination. And whether she had to be picked back up after having collapsed from exhaustion or if she somehow managed to stay on her feet the whole time, she was going to get to the other end of those parallels railings. She just couldn’t figure out the first step, literally and figuratively. So, with fortitude fueling her, she improvised.
Sliding her hands a few inches further down on the railings, she leaned forward, ever-so-slightly. With her body weight also leaning slightly forward, she lifted up the toes of her right foot just a bit – then tightening the muscles in her right calf and managing to slide her right foot forward onto the yoga-like mat. It was an accomplishment – albeit a little one … but Olivia still had to quickly correct her.
“Don’t slide your foot, Rose,” Olivia said with an almost song-like quality to her voice as she didn’t want to thwart the girl’s will power, but at the same time, needed to see to it that Rose was doing the rehab exercise as correctly as she could.
Rose placed her right toes back down and settled her weight on her right leg, an awkward position to be in but one that suddenly seemed common to her. Trying to get her mind and her muscles to tag team like they were naturally supposed to was proving to be a most tricky endeavor.
Inhaling deeply and sighing the same, she pulled her shoulders back – re-straightening the posture of her torso but keeping her eyes lowered and focused on her left foot. There would be no acceptable cheating on her part. And despite her understandably pouty behavior of present, Rose was glad Olivia was keeping her honest.
The point of rehab would be lost if Rose didn’t do this right. And the even bigger loss would be her recovery. In reality, no. It really wasn’t that severe, just then. But Rose had built it up in her mind and had given it all such importance that, in her world, in her present reality, it really was that severe. Fight or flight. Do or Die. There was nothing more she would aim for and nothing less she would accept from herself.
Bending her left knee, she tried to shift the left side of her body forward – instinct doing this more than a conscious choice from her. But Olivia was prepared, keeping her hands on the girl’s hips and keeping her from twisting in her stance. But Dear Heaven, every single muscle in her left leg screamed out in pain – all at once. And Rose whimpered, too.
“Lift your knee, Rose. You can do it. Just raise it high enough to move your left foot forward,” Olivia said, her songbird and motherly tone ringing in Rose’s ears and regressing the girl’s esteem while still nurturing her forward.
Rose tried to lift her left knee high enough to at least cause her weight to shift forward. But it wasn’t easy and it wasn’t going very well at all.
“Just one little step, Rose,” Olivia said sweetly, coddling the girl’s fragile emotions. “You can do it.”
Rose kept trying to lift that left knee and it lifted a bit higher, but it still wasn’t enough for a complete step to happen.
“That’s a good girl. You can do it,” Olivia whispered, Rose softening on the inside and beginning to feel the immense muscle fatigue in her left leg.
Then Rose started to cry a bit more heavily – the end of her stamina and resolve nearing. It wasn’t going to happen and she was about to get very upset. Lowering her left foot back down, she closed her eyes – tears streaming down her cheeks.
“It’s okay, Rose,” Olivia said, ever-so-gently stroking the back of the girl’s hospital gown.
What Rose really could’ve used was a gentle pat on her diapered bottom, just like Emmitt always did to her when he knew she was so overwhelmed with an emotion or a disappointment that there was no way to coax her out of her saddened reaction with words. In those instances, sound was the enemy.
She was simply going to have to try again, but she was physically weakening quickly. And a battle of worth began to play out in her mind. Standing there in a hospital gown and diaper, not having worn real clothing in a long time, not having done her hair and not having put make-up on in a long time – all began to add up to esteem-crushing results. And whether her self-damning thoughts were of vanity or of lack of valor, she was rapidly imploding on the inside. The end was very near for her and she felt as though she had failed … failed herself and failed Olivia and failed Julia and worst of all, failed Emmitt.
Trying to wiggle her hips to generate another attempt, she listened to herself crinkle, a sound that made her blush with a finite amount of embarrassment … but hey, it was better than nothing at all, just then.
And my goodness, she had become overwhelmed with pain all over her body – from her leg muscles to her back muscles … to her tiny little heart as it began to crush inside her chest.
Feeling pain was good because it meant that things were beginning to reconnect properly with messages inside her and that everything was moving in the direction of good recovery. The messages were jumbled, however, and she couldn’t straighten them out yet.
But feeling pain was also bad because it was the constant kind of pain that grew worse with time and it also weakened her stamina just a little bit more. This was making it harder for her to walk at all – let alone remain standing and let alone taking a single, full step forward.
But as if the fates were watching her and as if another watcher nearby had seen enough, Emmitt finally spoke up. And he knew what to say to not only melt her defenses the rest of the way, but to also make her do what she was desperately trying to accomplishment.
No, it actually wasn’t walking that was her main task just then. It was walking without thinking about it that was her real dilemma.
“Rose Petal,” Emmitt said softly, his deep southern twang rippling through the essence of his BabyGirl’s existence and bringing to her a focus she could have provided herself with.
Lifting her head up and opening her tear-stained eyes, she looked to the other end of the parallel railing – her heart’s destination. And there she saw her beloved Daddy standing. Looking into his eyes, she could see the anguish he was dealing with, as well. Initially, seeing this crushed her as she instantaneously did what many females would do in that situation. She started blaming herself as the cause of his pain, too.
But then Emmitt began to silently mouth the most important thing she needed to hear.
“Come to Daddy,” Emmitt said without sound, Rose feeling her emotions melt all the way as her eyes welled with a fresh layer of tears.
And suddenly, the pain in her body wasn’t so overwhelming anymore.
“Show Daddy what a good girl you are,” Emmitt mouthed to her silently, tummyflies welling inside Rose’s belly and making her stand up perfectly straight as she locked gazes with him.
Suddenly, the task didn’t seem like such a big deal to her anymore.
“Just one little step at a time,” Emmitt said with softened yet audible tone, his Daddy Voice ringing in Rose’s ears loudly and clearly.
Suddenly, all that mattered was doing that which would make her Daddy proud.
Mindlessly, she bent her right knee and lifted her right foot as if her leg was as light as a feather. No, her mind hadn’t finally gotten the connection correct with her muscles. Instead, Rose found a different motivation to focus on, to obsess over and to urge her forward.
Her goal stopped being about taking individual steps. It stopped being about the mechanics. And it started being about the bigger picture, the result of putting all the pieces together.
The room became bright blurry light all around her as the only thing she could see was Emmitt. The humming of the overhead lights, the sweet words from Olivia and even the crinkling at Rose’s waist – all seemed to fade in sound. There was silence and the only sound that was made was the beating of her heart.
Emmitt held his arms out to her and she took a step forward with her right foot. She was mesmerized by him, incapable of seeing how widely she was waddling and how the sudden release of the tension in all her muscles made each step just a little easier.
As she took another step and another step, her heart began to beat faster – not because she was suffering from physical fatigue but because she was getting closer and closer to her Daddy’s out-stretched arms.
She no longer had to think about anything. It became easier and easier still – the way it was supposed to naturally happen all the time. In her glazed eyes, all she could see was how happy she was making her Daddy and how proud he was of her. What a good girl she was being for him and how good it felt to get back to normal.
She tottered the whole way down the length of those parallel railings. When she got to the end, she let go of them and walked into her Daddy’s waiting arms. He didn’t say a word to her, instead gently rocking her back and forth as he patted her diapered bottom. It was the silence that spoke volumes to her.
She had made to him, like a little BabyGirl who had walked towards her loving Daddy for the first time ever. And his embrace was the most wonderful thing she had felt since she woke up in that hospital on Labor Day.
Burying her face in the center of his shirt, she breathed in deeply through her nostrils – taking in the plethora of scents that combined to become her Daddy’s scent.
It was then that she realized she had flooded her diaper. Blushing a deep shade of red, she kept her face buried in his chest – a happy BabyGirl who had overcome the most basic yet most difficult challenge of getting her mind back to good. And Emmitt was there, supporting her and making her feel like the most important person in his entire world.
Walking was easy once again. It was like riding a bicycle. But loving Emmitt was the easiest thing of all.
Also, read: “What To Do With A Miracle”…………………………….. The Country Rose Series .
Country Rose Country Rose 2 Country Rose 3 Country Rose 4 Country Rose 5 Country Rose 6
If you like The Country Rose Series, I’d also recommend checking out two other ABDL Romance series: