here is a little story about pacing one’s self – about getting attention and about giving it.
(Start with Rolling the Dice)
How do you get someone to listen to you? How do you get anyone to listen to you – to really listen and to pay attention to the meaning of what you’re saying? In this day and age, you can’t just speak and expect to be heard. You have to make it personally important to your audience to heed the magnitude of your words.
It isn’t an easy thing to disband someone’s disbeliefs or disillusions without having them resist the change. It’s the human condition that makes everyone unique and finding the perfect recipe for success to communicate with someone is as meticulous as individuality itself. For some, you may simply only need to snap your fingers. But for others, you may very well have to tie them down to a chair, duct tape their mouth shut and blindfold them so that the only faculty and ability that would remain at their use and disposal would be to listen.
But perhaps the greatest bit of the human condition is want. Does someone really want to listen to you? And if they don’t, what bit of removal from their comfort zone would sway their existence and their very essence – encouraging them to take the initiative and to find the fortitude necessary to adapt and to change as needed and required?
Sunday night, 11:30 pm
There was nothing more welcomed then a few songs from Christina Perri to accompany Hunny and her ever-active thoughts … not over-active, not yet anyway, but definitely constant. This had been her state of mind all day long. It was also her state of mind when she went to bed last night. It had even, in fact, been her state of mind yesterday as well as every single waking and sleeping moment since Jake had stopped in at the diner on Friday night. And for as much as she didn’t want to seem pushy or over-bearing or perhaps to come off as sounding too naive to be considered cute, Hunny had texted him with a barrage of questions as her rapid-fire thoughts were begging for answers.
Thankfully, Jake responded in text. No, he didn’t respond to all her text messages. A good portion of the time, he couldn’t respond and it wasn’t for the business of work or any other obligation that kept him from replying. It was the fact that no sooner had he begun to type out a reply text than three or four new texts would arrive from her.
A lot of her questions asked what she could expect when she got to his place that Sunday night. But his responses were always cryptic yet interesting with replies like: Expect the unexpected or Think of the opposite of what you normally would. But perhaps the most perplexing condition he had set for her was his absolute insistence that she drive straight to his place – directly after her shift ended at the diner that night. She was to make no stops on the way and to remain in her waitress outfit – exactly as she was.
The very concept and suggestion that she couldn’t change her clothing or take a shower or put herself together directly opposed every feminine instinct that defined her. It felt the same as if she was being told to not breathe. Of course, she needed to clean and prep and primp herself before being seen by him. But somehow, he had convinced her to be compliant and though she thought ahead to bring along a pack of baby wipes to give herself a bird bath, as this did not violate any rules he had set for her, she still wasn’t going to feel anything but dirty.
Pulling onto East Callahan Drive, she started looking for his house number … 8669. The very numbers seemed as dirty as she felt. But even her woes about her appearance left her mind, as did all other thoughts, when she saw him sitting on his front porch – waiting for her.
Her heart pounded, her breathing picked up and she slowed her car down – not for desire to make the remaining 50 feet of her journey take longer, but for desire to not allow her excitement to make her slam on the gas so she could get to him just a few seconds sooner.
She parked the car and put her purse on her lap, not looking at him as she did this. Pretending to search for something inside her purse, she was really just concealing the fact that she needed to re-button the top of her waitressing outfit as she had taken a baby wipe to her sternum and a few other place that required the unbuttoning. And with a few more seconds, she had herself put back together – then opening her car door and stepping out. At that moment when she first looked up at him, butterflies fluttered in her stomach, tingles danced across all the surfaces of her body and a pinkish hue of liveliness flushed her face.
As gracefully as possible, she kept her strides towards him even and forward-moving without beginning to run up to him … her true impulse of that very instant.
“I was worried you weren’t going to make it here before midnight,” Jake said, standing up and opening his arms as she coyly walked into his offered embrace. “You know what happens to all princesses at midnight, right?”
Hunny rested her forehead on his sternum, burying her face in his chest as she grinned brightly. There was nothing more fantasy-provoking than a Cinderella reference to start this whole thing off. And oh, there was nothing more unsettling than a strong feeling of insecurity right away.
“Um, do they get to take a shower?” Hunny asked, not knowing what else to say that could equal up to the compliment he just paid her.
“Oh my, no. Princesses don’t take showers. They’re bathed by hand,” Jake said with a calm timbre, Hunny going weak in the knees at the mere thought of it. “We’ll get to that. But first we need to give you back something that you lost right as you pulled into my driveway.”
“What?” Hunny asked as Jake led her over to the front door and opened it for her.
“Comfort,” he stated simply as he directed Hunny into his house.
She walked in and looked around, the simple country home that it was – complete with that welcomed feeling of an old house but with enough modernization to be livable. Hunny smiled at the charm of the place, following him into the kitchen and then smiling even more brightly at how obvious it was that this simple country home lacked a woman’s touch. It was quite the bachelor’s pad, but at the same time, had been thoroughly cleaned recently.
His efforts to tidy up for her visit didn’t surprise her or make her feel like he was trying to hide anything or put up some sort of façade. Jake was as real as could be. He was scruffed but clean, flawed but with value and simple himself – for how deep he was able to go in conversation and thought.
Leaning up against the entryway molding, her back leaning against the reveal, Hunny folded her arms and watched Jake turn the stove on before getting out a few things from the fridge to make her a meal … comfort food as it was.
“You know, you’re never going to change me, Jake,” Hunny said with a bit of sass, prematurely mounting a playful defense.
“That is such a loaded statement,” Jake said, buttering the sides of a few pieces of French toast bread before placing them down in the frying pan. “It’s most interesting that you actually seek change, yet you oppose it, at the same time.”
“I’m not opposing it. I’m just being realistic,” Hunny said, speaking honestly but also knowing she was testing the waters.
It was important for her to know how Jake reacted when he got upset or perhaps when he was just pushed a little too much. It was part of the reason why she chose to be difficult about things, even when she wasn’t really trying – but rather, just following an impulse.
“It appears we’ve had this discussion before,” Jake said, placing cheese and ham on the bread as well as another piece of bread on top before turning to face her. “Was there something else you wanted to bring up about it?”
“No,” Hunny answered, smiling as she knew that he called her stalling technique accurately.
“So,” he began, putting a pot on the stove and emptying a container of tomato bisque into it. “Do you want to keep talking about things so you can satisfy your thoughts?”
Then he walked over to her, placing his hand on the wall molding above her and leaning in close.
“Or do you wanna live outside your head for a while?” Jake asked, his tone calm and the look in his eyes piercing into her soul.
Hunny closed her lips and slightly lowered her chin, preventing herself from following another impulse and pre-empting a first kiss that deserved the absolute perfect moment to take place in. But she nodded her answer and Jake placed his hands on either side of her torso, sliding his palms down the sides of her rib cage and then her hips and then her legs before kneeling in front of her to begin untying her sneakers.
Oh, she once again wished she had been allowed to take a shower before coming over to his house. If she had, she would have put some sort of sweet scent on her clothing and her legs would’ve been as smooth as could be. But just then, her lost wishes seemed to take a second place to why he was taking her shoes off.
“Ah, I see. When a woman is in the kitchen, she should be barefoot, right?” Hunny playfully sassed, smiling brightly as he took her sneakers off – followed by her socks.
“No,” Jake said, standing up – then setting her shoes and socks on the arm of the sofa in the living room. “But being barefoot makes it a bit more difficult and bit more painful for runaways to cut-n-run.”
Oh, wow. He was good. He was really good. He wasn’t thrusting anything in her face, but at the same time, he wasn’t backing off either.
“So what’s with the grilled ham and cheese?” Hunny asked, nibbling on her lower lip and scrunching up her toes – a habit she had when she got home from work and took her shoes off.
“Comfort, Princess. Just comfort,” Jake said, taking hold of her hand and leading her over to the stove as he began flipping the grilled cheese sandwiches.
Hunny kept waiting for some sort of subtle indicator that all of this wasn’t going to work out. This wasn’t her first dance and it certainly wasn’t his as well. Both of them were wiser for this, but the cautiousness would ever-remain within her … or so she thought.
“You’re not going to sway my mind in any direction … at least not for long,” Hunny said, drawing the line in the sand.
But Jake showed no reaction and said nothing in response.
“Jake, you’re not going to change me,” Hunny said with a more direct tone.
But Jake remained calm and with no reply, reaching up to the cupboard to get down two bowls and two plates.
Now Hunny didn’t know what to say. A lot of her responses were based off of what the other person said or how the other reacted. But she was getting no such input from him. Had he closed off to her that quickly? Looking back through the entryway of the kitchen, she saw her sneakers-n-socks on the arm of the sofa and the front door at the other side of the living room. Was it time to go already? She had just gotten there.
Jake poured two bowls of the soup and put the grilled sandwiches on the plates before suddenly turning to her and taking hold of both sides of her face. Oh, she could sense the power in his palms, his ability to control with strength – evident in how he held her jawline … firmly but gently.
“We’ve already spoken about these things. I’m not going to speak about them again,” Jake said with calmness in his tone, but with certainty as well. “A lot of people can help you figure out why you cut-n-run. I’m really not one of those people. But if you’re interested, intrigued even, I can help you experience everything you have always run away from.”
Jake seized the moment, holding her tightly against him and planting his lips on her mouth. But surprisingly, Hunny discovered that she was the one who wasn’t yet ready for that intimate connection. Placing her forearms on his chest, she tried to push away from him, but his arms were wrapped around her and she didn’t have enough strength to break free. His right hand, gripping the back of her neck, held her head still – making it impossible to break free from the kiss.
She struggled, but to no avail. Yes, she could’ve planted a knee into his groin, dropping him to the floor. And by his stance, it was obvious that he was leaving that possibility open for her, almost as if he was giving her several options to choose from.
Giving up the tussle for desire to not fatigue any further, she relaxed herself – still not engaging in the kiss but no longer opposing it. And it was at that moment that she remembered something else Jake had said at the diner a few days ago:
“You’ll dress a certain way and behave a certain way and before long – you won’t have to be told what to wear, how to act and how to carry yourself. It will take little time to take your thoughts and change the way you think. And on top of all of this, you will crave that moment when you can finally give up.”
She still wasn’t sure about all of that, but just then, she understood what he meant by giving up and craving it. And with a single blink of her eyelashes, Hunny wrapped her arms around him, straightened her spine, kissing him back and knowing it was always the kiss that began everything she had ever run away from. Regardless, she engaged – with caution to the wind and want greater than all other needs.
And when that first kiss broke, she exhaled at the exact same moment as he did – then inhaling with him and suddenly feeling a whole lot more comfortable. Wow, what a hello that had been. And this electrical guy who was always so much fun to talk to when he came into the diner suddenly seemed more interesting to her than anything else in life.
No, maybe her will power wouldn’t be broken. But at least she would have that moment, right then, to bask in … for as long as it affected her. But then again, maybe it was that very moment that she would forever reflect upon as the breaking point. And maybe everything from this point forward would be all the opportunities she had missed out on – thus, the reality of a runaway.
Jake handed her the plates with the sandwiches as he picked up the bowls of tomato bisque, then leading her into the living room. He took a seat on the sofa and set the bowls on the coffee table.
“Hmm,” she said with a grin while taking a seat next to him and setting the plates on the coffee table. “Looks like you broke out the Fine China for this one, huh?”
Jake looked at her and raised an eyebrow. Yeah, she was tempting her own fate and she knew it. But she couldn’t help herself. Sass was simply a part of who she was.
“Why is that, by the way?” Hunny asked looking around the room as Jake picked up his sandwich and dunked it into the bisque. “Why don’t you live in some enormous mansion? You have the money.”
“I have the money, yes. But I don’t have the desire to,” Jake mumbled with a full mouth.
“Why not?” Hunny asked, picking up her sandwich and just dunking the very edge of it in her bisque.
“Because it’s unimportant to me. It’s just a house,” Jake replied. “For most of my life, I built houses and then wired them for electricity. They’re made of wood and paint and screws and bolts … some siding, panels and a lot of wires. There’s nothing special about a house. But I have my splurges, too.”
“Really?” Hunny asked, sitting sideways on the sofa to face him as she kept nibbling on her sandwich. “Such as?”
“Guitars,” Jake answered. “I could look at a dozen houses and be satisfied with picking the one that might not be largest of them all but certainly would be the one that suits me best. Now, guitars, on the other hand, I will gladly bypass all the el cheapos to go right for the more expensive ones.”
“Why?” Hunny asked, grinning at how passionate he suddenly seemed about it.
“Because, unlike a house or a car or a piece of jewelry, a pricier guitar means that it actually is better than the rest,” Jake answered.
“I see,” Hunny said, picking up her bowl of bisque and walking around his living room.
Jake finished his sandwich and drank the rest of the bisque down like it was a bowl of milk.
“Classy,” Hunny said with a laugh as she walked back the hallway to the other rooms.
“No … hungry,” Jake said, taking his bowl and plate to the sink.
Hunny snooped from room to room. And no matter where she looked, she found that bachelor feel. There wasn’t an ounce of a woman’s touch anywhere. But it wasn’t until she looked in the bathroom that she believed there to be any place in his house where a female would feel at home.
Strange as that seemed, what was stranger was the fact that he was sitting on the edge of the tub, filling it with water and making the mound of bath bubbles grow higher still. Jake looked up at her and smiled, extending his hand to her.
“Come,” he said invitingly.
“Huh?” she asked, warmed by the very idea he had drawn a bath for her but also cautious as to what else he might have been implying.
Jake had always been a gentleman to her, but the fact remained that he was a guy. And in Hunny’s experiences, guys had always charmed her into doing things she later regretted.
“You are sore that you weren’t able to take a shower before you came over here,” Jake said calmly, standing up and then walking over to her – taking the bowl of soup from her hand and setting it on the bathroom sink. “So, let’s get you clean and even more comfortable.”
Oh, my. Hunny could feel her stomach filling with tummyflies. The moment had grown intense, that initial start to so many other things. Jake summoned her to walk towards him and she did, but not before she took one last look in the hallway and out to the living room to see her sneakers-n-socks sitting on the arm of the sofa.
This was the moment of decision – the point of no return. Or so it seemed. The decision of a lifetime of passion became the split second before her.
And the usual impulses, if not emotions, entered into her. The offering in front of her was very, very inviting, indeed. But it wasn’t for a fear of success or completion that she once again contemplated becoming a runaway. Nor was it for a need to survive otherwise that made her look down at her bare feet – wondering if she needed to go cover them. Instead, it was for absolutely no reason other than familiarity that made her cautious. That was the kind of comfort she wanted to do without, from now on … if she could only do that.
Taking a step or two towards him, she lowered her chin and closed her eyes. Oh, her heart was pounding so fast that it made her short of breath. No, this definitely wasn’t comfort, but it had the possibility of becoming something quite gratifying. She stood rigid as Jake unfastened the buttons on the front of her outfit and the first tingle of many coursed through her as he eyed up the bra and panties she had dressed in for work that night.
No, she normally wouldn’t have worn to work a nice bra and pair of panties, especially not the white lacy satin lingerie set that had cost her $60. But her after-work destination had certainly called for it.
Unfastening the last button at the lower hem of her outfit, Jake peeled back the front – then placing his hands on the sides of her hourglass. Moving his palms upward and onto the sides of her C-cups, he slightly gripped her. Hunny took in a deep breath and fidgeted somewhat – not for pain from the stroking but for want of more.
“It’s a lot easier that it may seem to be both gentle and commanding at the same time,” Jake said softly, lowering her outfit off her shoulders and allowing it to fall to the floor. “It’s probably a lot trickier to absorb both sensations at the same time than it is to give them out … or to take in what is desired.”
Jake pulled her against his chest, one of those aggressive motions that always got her attention. She wrapped her arms around his him and rested the side of her face on his sternum. She looked into the bathroom mirror and saw their embracing figures – Jake dressed completely, she in nothing more than her bra and panties … for the moment. But that soon would change. Not yet, however, as it seemed he had a deliberately slow-burn to his actions. For most people, this would have seemed excruciatingly long. But for Hunny, it was the perfect pace at which to move. It wasn’t rushed at all and it was as if the whole world had suddenly slowed down to allow her every possible second to take in how good it felt to receive such attention.
His left hand worked the back strap of her bra apart between her shoulder blades and his right hand traveled south – down her lower lumbar, slipping into the back of her panties and cupping her bottom. Oh, how wonderful it all felt. And for as much as his house, and his entire life for that matter, was completely absent of a woman’s touch, he certainly knew how to touch a woman … in all the right places, in all the right ways. And he had only just begun.
He could’ve led her anywhere and she would’ve helplessly, mindlessly followed him, with no question in her heart at all. There was nothing more important than her … or so he made it seem. Comfort had been a primary theme since she arrived at his house and perhaps that was why he had set her sneakers on the arm of the sofa. It would be her decision to stay or leave … until she committed to her time with him. At that point, being a runaway would no longer be tolerated. And she was well aware of this.
“Everything will slow down for you when you’re here,” Jake said, slipping his thumbs under the shoulder straps of her bra and lowering them down her arms, Hunny releasing her hug of him and stepping back as the cups released support of her chest.
She looked out into the hallway, seeing her shoes sitting there on the sofa. She could leave whenever she wanted. This wasn’t what she was hoping for. She wanted to be forced to stay.
Then she looked back at Jake, hopefully that he would understand the unspoken message – displayed in her expression.
“And then everything will speed up for you, without warning or notice,” Jake said, a sardonic grin on his face. “Take those panties off, Princess. You don’t belong in them.”
Hunny felt a slight dizziness as she watched her hands take hold of the waist line of her panties. And as she lowered the panties down her legs to her ankles, she tried to make sense of what he had just said … that she didn’t belong in panties. Oh, how riveting of a statement. Nothing quite like being reduced. But that was, in fact, part of her fantasies, her fetishes and, in the mix, her passions.
She stepped out of the panties and stood back up, Jake taking her and making her face the bathroom mirror. She was naked and a small shudder coursed throughout her frame. She didn’t just feel vulnerable for being naked, but also for the fact that she listened to him and took her own panties off. It was both troubling and intoxicating to know that she was under his control and had already accepted it. But if her mind would be permanently changed would remain to be seen … or, more appropriately in this case, would remain to be thought.
Jake walked up behind her, took her forearms, crossed them in front of her chest and held them there. And with his right hand, he held up a bright white pacifier. Hunny’s eyes grew big and wide, her heart pounding so heavily and her pulse racing so fast that she became more than just slightly dizzy. But before her knees gave way and she collapsed, Jake hoisted her up into his arms.
“When your pacifier is in your mouth, you don’t speak,” Jake said with a deep tone but with one that still kept the gentle appeal as he carried her over to the bath tub – then kneeling down and beginning to lower her into the mound of bubbles. “This is the most important thing you need to do … to listen, to not make excuses and just to listen.”
Hunny’s bottom touched the surface of the warm water, cooled just enough to make it tolerable to be enveloped in but still quite warm indeed. And as more and more of her body became submerged beneath the bubbly surface of the bathwater, the less vulnerable she felt. But this increased level of comfort had come from one thing and one thing only … from Jake.
Looking up at him, Hunny instinctively nursed on the white pacifier, her eyes glazing over as she happily allowed herself to slip into a regressive state, temporary as she knew it would be but still wanted – nevertheless. He picked up a wash cloth, dipped it in the bathwater and began to bathe her by hand, just as he said he would. It was as if he was making good on a promise. From this, she got the urge to trust him just a bit more.
And suddenly, Jake wasn’t that guy who frequented her diner at all. He had become so much more than just that. She couldn’t bring herself to call him Daddy or see him as a caregiver over her. Oh, she wanted to, but if she did, she might likely keep him as that in her mind or more. He wasn’t going to change who she was, despite how much he believed that he could. But this didn’t mean she wasn’t going to enjoy herself over the next few days.
Little could Hunny have realized, while lying in that tub and receiving that first hand-bathing from him, what was to come in the next ten days. But my, oh my, she would learn to expect the unexpected, to view things in a manner opposite of how she would normally. She could hardly understand anything he was saying to her. It was as if she was in a dream state, where everything slow down and then suddenly sped up – just as he said it would.
But what did it mean?
She would have time to think about that very question as, after he bathed the lower half of her body, he then got up and walked over to the bathroom closet. Opening it, he took a few things out and then left the bathroom – heading back in the direction of the living room. Hunny lifted her head up from its resting position on the back of the tub sill, trying to get the best view she could of what was in the bathroom closet. No, she couldn’t see into the closet from inside the, but she could see the inside of the closet from its reflection in the bathroom mirror. The only problem was: when Jake picked her up to put her in the tub, he closed the bathroom door. With the heat now remaining in the bathroom, the mirror slowly fogged up over the past few minutes.
Trying not to allow curiosity to get the best of her, she leaned her head back on the tub sill, closing her eyes and reliving the fresh memories of his hand-bathing – the sensations of which still lingering on the surfaces of her legs and elsewhere. Smiling brightly behind her pacifier, she laughed gently at how the pacifier not only led her in the direction of feeling little but also restricted her freedom to speak. It was kind of like the best of both worlds, a bit innocent and a bit naughty.
Snapping her out of her state of mind were a few noises that came from the living room and then Jake’s return. He was so handsome, rugged and unkept but still refined in all the right ways. And as he knelt back down next to the tub side, picking up the wash cloth and beginning the hand-bathe her torso, she dawned on a new thought about him … that he might well be a keeper. It was way, way, way too early to seriously contemplate that thought, but it was always reassuring to know that when the initial indicators of a good guy presented themselves so easily and apparently, it didn’t always mean that the honeymoon would soon end or that the missing slipper would never be found.
Sometimes, the reasons to believe were evident because they were real. And living vicariously through the memories of past failures would only lead to more time spent inside one’s head, more time spent repeating the past and more time left to scratch her head as to what happened, to what went wrong – when it was all over.
Sometimes, it was worth it to take a risk and to live.
As Jake sat her up in the tub, taking the wash cloth to her back, Hunny gazed up at him – lost for explanation as to how he had suddenly stumbled into her life. No, he certainly wasn’t perfect. But he was more than good enough and without really having to try, he had captured the runaway’s attention. Girls weren’t often seen as being difficult to read, to figure out how and what they are feeling. But Hunny knew the greater truth: that guys didn’t open up visually about how they felt. At least girls dropped hints, leaving some sort of clue. Thankfully, Hunny was a studier of body languages, finding some sort of answers in the process. And what she had discovered was that she could always tell how serious a guy was by how he held her, how he touched her and, in this case, how he bathed her.
“Runaways never get to see the things that are waiting for them,” Jake said, taking the wash cloth to the back of her neck and continuing to melt away any little bit of cut-n-run she might still have left inside her. “And they will never know what they missed.”
Jake reached over to the towel rack and grabbed another wash cloth, dipping it in the water and beginning to wash the make-up off her cheeks. Then he took the very edge of the wash cloth to her lower eye lids, cleaning the eyeliner off from underneath her lower eyelashes. Taking the pacifier out of her mouth to wash her face, he showed attention to the details of his work. Hunny smiled at him while keeping disbelief in her expression. Wow! Who was this guy?
“You will get used to a lot of things you didn’t think were possible,” Jake said, drying her face with a small hand towel and then beginning to let the water drain out of the tub – most of the bubbles having left the surface at that point. “You will soon expect the unexpected.”
He took hold of a bath towel from the rack and helped her to her feet – then helping her to step out of the tub and onto the bath mat before he wrapped the bath towel around her. Then he took a seat on the toilet lid, having her take a seat on his lap. She leaned up against chest, resting the side of her head on his sternum. And to add just a bit more comfort, the pacifier was returned to her mouth. She parted her lips and took the rubber nipple in, nursing on it with greater need than just a little while ago. Oh, how amazing she felt and he had just resolved the greatest deterrent to comfort that she was facing … cleanliness. A girl always felt so much better when fresh from the shower, or in this case, the tub. And she had Jake to thank for that.
Not even as he cupped the back of her head in his right hand, easing her into a cradling lay as he massaged the back of her scalp with his fingertips, did she recognized how affected she had become.
“You will get used to having your mind being scrambled,” Jake said, holding her against him as he stood up and carried her over to the opened bathroom closet. “You’ll be affected … every time. And you’ll never see it coming.”
Hunny kept the side of her head resting on his sternum, but her eyes were glued on the closet – waiting for that first moment when she could see what was in there … the things he took out of the bathroom and walked away with. What could it possibly have been? Those blurred reflections in the bathroom mirror, made blurrier still by the foggy covering of steam, what were they?
And as curiosity mounted to a summitting peak inside her, she finally got the answer to what she was looking for. On the center shelf of the bathroom closet were quite a few things that made her gasp for breath behind her pacifier. And thankfully, Jake was carrying her – because if he hadn’t been, her knees would’ve given way.
There are certain things in life that everyone keeps private, things about ourselves that we don’t share with very many people, if anyone else at all. For Hunny, the second shelf held the tangible objects that made clear to her how her heart-to-heart confessions to Jake at the diner had not only been heard by him, but also understood.
There was clothing, light in material and soft in colors. There were trinkets and little toys and such, the stuff that sugar-n-spice instilled interest within her. However, it was the stack of diapers that not only made her regress inside herself but also made her tingle.
They weren’t store bought brands, but the kinds that had to be ordered. Where did he find them and how did he get them so quickly?
With no further answers to be found and only more questions arriving, Hunny turned to mush in his arms. She had never felt more vulnerable, more exposed and more helpless. And for as much as those feelings were initially uncomforting, before Jake spoke again, they had already rerouted her processing of emotions – to prevent implosion in her mind. And because of this, acceptance became her mentality.
“So now, I need you to make a choice,” Jake said, pulling out three of the diapers and placing them in her hands before carrying her out of the bathroom and heading towards the living room. “Which do you want to wear first?”
Tummyflies began dancing a full-waltz inside her at the mere question, but also at the overlying theme that she would be diapered … as if she had no say in the matter. The air in the hallway was much cooler than the bathroom and the living room was much darker than the bathroom, but there was still enough light for her to see the pull out changing pad that he had positioned on the rug in front of the living room – the coffee table having been moved to the side and set up as a supply station. Still sitting on the arm of the sofa were her sneakers and socks – the option of cut-n-run still there, but now seeming like a really stupid option to take. The mind-melting was working and she was happily welcoming it, without knowing.
Jake eased her down onto the changing mat, the simple roll-up mattress that it was. Keeping his left forearm against her spine, from lower lumbar to shoulder blades, he guided her lay – his right hand supporting her neck as she came to rest on her back. But her eyes were still fixed on the sneakers and socks – up on the arm of the sofa. She still had a fleeting chance to cut-n-run, but she no longer had the will to make it happen. And as he unfolded the towel from the front of her body, Hunny looked up at him – her eyes still lingering with a diminishing bit of hope to run. But she was too inundated by other things. And maybe this wouldn’t be a permanent change either, but it certainly felt good for the time being that it affected her so.
“Time to decide,” Jake said, kneeling alongside her, having gotten the container of baby powder and pack of wipes for the supply station coffee table.
Hunny felt her legs trying to receive the message from her brain to move, the usual process. But strangely, those signals were arriving more like flash traffic than anything else. She would manage to draw her knees up to her chest after a few failed tries and then she would part her bent legs – putting herself into a very vulnerable position. But there was stimulus all around to distract her mind from implosion, the closest of which being the three disposable diapers she held in her hands and the task before her … to choose one of them.
Okay, hold on a minute. For as much as Hunny was about to be trained by him over the next week or so, there was a little bit of training that he was going to need to receive from her. In her hands were three options: a diaper with teddy bears on the waist band, a diaper with red hearts on the waist band and a diaper with little blocks on the waist band that spelled out BABY in capital letters. Did he not understand the impossibility of making a decision, given those choices?
She was a girl, for goodness sake. The more options you gave her, the longer still it would take her to survive. A good rule of thumb would have been to decide for her or to give her two options to choose from, but only two options, at most. Oh, well. That would be a lesson for another day and certainly not for the present moment. There was some most interesting hands-on attention she was about to receive and that was certainly going to take precedence over everything else.
“Which is it going to be, Princess?” Jake asked, that male growl in his voice making her tingle in all the right places.
She looked at the diaper with teddy bears on it. It was really cute and the teddy bears were all smiling. Then she looked at the one with the red hearts on it. The hearts were different shades of red and different sizes of the shape. It seemed really sweet and certainly represented how affectionate she felt, from time to time. Then she looked at the one with the BABY block letters on it. It certainly spelled out how she felt and each of the block letters had its own color. It seemed like it belonged on her – right there on her waist to remind her of who she really was.
Then she felt the super-fresh yet super-cool feel of a baby wipe being touched to her bottom cheeks, Hunny whimpering and dropping the other two diapers as she clenched the block letter diaper with both of her hands in response to hold cold the wipe was.
“Wonderful choice,” Jake said, continuing to wipe her bottom as she began to melt before him.
Her eyes rolled up into her head. Closing them, she whimpered even more contentedly into her pacifier. Oh, how gentle he was with her, indeed. Her arms fell backwards, her hands coming to rest on either side of her head – her left hand barely gripping the block letter diaper at this point. Jake took the diaper from her loose grip and began unfolding it. It was obvious he had never diapered anyone and even though he fumbled with it to get it unfolded and placed flat on the mat beneath her, the crinkling noise along with the mere fact that she was about to be diapered by someone else was all it took to make her swoon inside her own head.
Then came that cool application of the baby powder to her bottom, his left palm caressing it evenly across her bottom cheeks – the caress made easier of a glide by the smoothness of her skin. Hunny whimpered again behind her pacifier, opening her eyes and gazing up at him with elation – made ever sweeter in appearance by the tiny welling of tears from the overwhelming arrival of more affection.
Then she blinked and looked up. And while staring up at the living room ceiling above, the one lone concern, if not insecurity, that had managed to survive inside her mind rose to the surfaces of her thoughts.
“Jake,” Hunny said with a whispered tone, taking her pacifier out of her mouth. “I’m just a little worried that I’ll get too into it and that I won’t be able to snap back out of it.”
Jake smiled, taking the pacifier from her hand and returning it to her mouth. She opened her lips and took the silicone nipple in, keeping a lock of gazes with him as she felt another baby wipe being taken to her front. She whimpered an even higher pitch, her hands closing into soft fists. Oh, he was so gentle with her, but he knew how to make every little touch have a maximum effect on her.
She was absolute mush in his hands and as soon as the wiping was done, then came the application baby powder to her front – then down between his legs. Oh, how she twitched when his fingertips glided down over her most tender areas. It was like a slice of Heavenly bliss.
Jake took hold of the waistband and folded the front of her diaper up onto the front of her body – keeping it as snuggly against her as possible. The elastic gathers expanded just a bit and then retracted as he flattened that stickered waist band to her abdomen. The word BABY now spelled out on the front of her and remained right there as he pulled the sides up tightly and taped them just a tightly.
Hunny smiled brightly behind her pacifier, her hands coming down onto the front of her diaper and her thighs closing back in as she swooned in the feel of being enveloped in such soft thickness. There was no scantily-cladded waitress there, being overworked and under-appreciated. There was merely the shell of a once-Big Girl who was learning how to live life to a degree of fullest she had only dreamed of before that very moment.
Turning over onto her side, she watched Jake walk away, back to the bathroom and to that closet that held all the dreams she had never revealed to anyone before. He returned swiftly with this little white night, made of thin cotton and flouncy lace. Oh, my. This just kept getting better and better. But maybe it was getting too good, too fast.
Pouting at herself as that same rogue insecurity spoiled the moment for her as usual, she took the pacifier out of her mouth once again – not realizing the mistake she just made.
“Jake, I don’t wanna get lost here, okay?” she asked with a heavy amount of sass in her tone. “I mean, hello? I’m going to need to function in the morning.”
Jake sighed slowly, walking over to the sofa and helping her stand to her feet. He then walked her a very short distance over to that entryway between the living room and the kitchen – the one she leaned up against as he cooked at the stove a short while ago. But this time, instead of leaning up against it with her back, Hunny was made to kneel in front of the entryway. Her knees were made to touch the base of the reveal as she was positioned to put the tip of her nose and the nipples of her breasts firmly against the reveal. Then he pulled a kitchen chair over to the entryway, draping the nightie over top of it. And without a word spoken, he lowered the back of her diaper just to the underside of her powdered bottom cheeks. Then he disappeared.
Kneeling there, she felt the heat from the heavy breath she was exhaling as it hit the reveal – then traveling back onto her face and down her sternum. The house took on a semi-silent eeriness as the only sounds she could hear were the ones he made in the back bedroom.
What was going on? What had just happened? Just a few moments ago, she was lying on her back, being coddled into mush-land and now … she was kneeling with her nose and nipples up against the reveal of kitchen entryway.
Nose and Nips! Oh, wait. This was what he did to her at the diner too, except she wasn’t kneeling. What did he say was the cause of it? She thought back through the whole time she had been there, trying to remember everything he had said. She must have upset him, somehow.
From her current position, her left eye could make out clearly her sneakers and socks on the arm of sofa – just a foot or two away from her. And from her right eye, she could see the white nightie on the kitchen chair he had slid over next to her. It was as if he was giving her the option still to cut-n-run or to stay and melt.
She thought back to the diner, to when he made her stand up against that hallway wall. What was it he said to her?
“Little girls who have a tendency to be runaways must be watched very carefully,” she recalled him saying.
Did this mean he was watching her from behind, waiting to see if she would be so bold as to turn around and look for him? Or did it mean he was waiting to see if she would grab her sneakers to cut-n-run?
“If you can’t be trusted to stay put, then you will be made to stay put,” she recalled his whisper saying.
Did that mean she could expect her knees to go numb from kneeling there for an undetermined length of time?
“And with a very watchful eye, I will keep track of you as you keep track of yourself,” her mind recalled hearing him say.
Did that mean she was supposed to be learning something from this? Because, if so, she was drawing a blank. She couldn’t think of anything she had said that was different than concerns from her heart. None of it seemed like it was egregious or deliberate in defiance. Confused as could be, she scrunched up her lips and began to move them in the motion of nursing. But, wait. Her pacifier was gone.
Then it hit her like a ton of bricks. She had taken the pacifier out of her mouth to speak, not just once … but twice. The first time, he simply returned the silicone nipple to her mouth. The second time was when he put her in her current nose-n-nip kneeling position. Without having to think about it very long at all, she remembered hearing him say that when the pacifier went in her mouth, she was to stop speaking … so she could do the most important thing of all – to listen.
In a flash of time, Jake suddenly reappeared, placing his hand on the top of her head and leaning it back as he returned the pacifier between her lips. But now, the pacifier had strings attached to either side of the mouth guard – strings that he tied together at the back of her head. Hunny began breathing through her nose, her heart beginning to pound even more heavily.
He then took hold of her wrists and crossed them at her lower lumbar, tying them into that position with a red bandanna – Hunny grimacing at the tightness of the binding. Maybe it was the crossed wrists that set her off or maybe it was the strong mixture of fantasy and fear that unsettled her so much. Or maybe it was something other than those things. But whatever the catalyst was, that straw that broke the camel’s back, Hunny put up such a fuss when Jake made her stand to her feet that it wouldn’t have mattered what happened after that because … she was in for a spanking she wouldn’t soon forget.
Taking hold of the nightie that was draped over the kitchen chair, he moved her over onto the mat in front of the sofa. Taking a seat on the sofa, he bent her over his knees as he tossed the nightie onto the mat and repositioned her for the correction to come.
And it was at that moment that she finally remembered what he said about the follow-up to the nose-n-nips treatment:
“If you ever find yourself in this position. You can expect a well-deserved spanking to follow.”
This was just dumb. Was he really going to spank her … for taking the pacifier out of her mouth and speaking? What was the point to be made? What was the lesson to be learned?
“I could give you a get-out-of-jail free card, but what good would that do?” Jake asked, gripping her bound wrists with his left hand and pinning them against her lower lumbar – his right hand beginning to rub her naked but powdered bottom. “There’s just so much sass within you, it seems you won’t learn anything until you actually listen first.”
Looking down to the right at the nightie that now lay on the mat in front of the sofa, Hunny shook her head as she listened to him continue his little speech to her.
“And I’d be lying if I told you that it’s going to hurt me more to see you in a little pain from this,” Jake admitted, repositioning her lay over his knees. “But there’s nothing more beautiful than watching a girl find her focus. And there’s nothing more rewarding than guiding her with your hand.”
Hunny eyes grew big and wide again as fear and arousal mixed inside her. If nothing else, this would be a memorable experience – for all the longer it was going to mean anything to her … or so she thought, just then. But, looking at the arm of the sofa and seeing that her sneakers-n-socks were gone, she gave everything a second thought. Did this mean her choice to stay or to cut-n-run was gone as well? And if so, what truly laid ahead for her?
She really hadn’t taken anything seriously, yet. But that was about to change – in a manner more permanently than her sassiness would allow her to realize.
Oh … my … God! That hurt like she couldn’t have imagined. It was as if he wound his right arm up and swung his palm down at her bottom with intent to drive his hand through her body. Ouch! And that was truly an understatement of the moment. Within that split instant, the sexual thrill came to an end, but only temporarily.
Then he placed his hand on her bottom, pressing in and rubbing the center of both of her cheeks – the strike zone of that first smack. Hunny could still feel the sting from the blow as if it hadn’t even ended yet. It seemed really odd that a lone connection could have that much pain attached to it. It made her feel as if she was weak, physically. That couldn’t have been the case.
The second smack from his hand was twice as hard and practically knocked her off his knees. And oh my, did she squirm from the pain. The surface of his palm must have been five or six inches in diameter, making his contact point feel as wide as the Grand Canyon. And while sinking her teeth into the nipple of her pacifier, she tried desperately to displace the sting as it traveled into the meat of her bottom. She became rigid and fought hard to prevent showing any reaction.
That was when Jake drew her focus to a fine point. It was time to get her attention and to keep it.
WHAP! … WHAP! … WHAP! … WHAP!
A series of evenly-timed offerings began to make up a rhythm for this spanking. And Hunny went ballistic, first trying to spit out her pacifier so she could be audible about how painful this was for her – then beginning to kick her legs and feet wildly in an effort to break free from her pinned and vulnerable position. But Jake was strong. Oh, he was so strong. And she wasn’t going anywhere until he let her up. That didn’t appear like it was going to happen any time soon.
Her body was angled in such a manner that she couldn’t even get her feet onto the sofa to possibly get leverage to attempt to roll off his knees. He had really thought this through well. And as he delivered one strike after another, she eventually wore down and gave up – beginning to sob into a pacifier that felt more like a gag, since it was held in place with tied strings.
And then he stopped spanking her, gently rubbing all over her now-reddened bottom and touching all the areas he had just smacked as she whimpered even more heavily at the seemingly everlasting sting.
Justifiably, she became upset and then became fussy – one of many stalling, if not escape, techniques to get out of something she didn’t want to have to deal with or be subjected to. But Jake wasn’t fooled and he wasn’t budging.
“This is what runaway BabyGirls get. It’s what they deserve for cutting and running so much,” Jake said with a calm yet condescending tone. “It’s okay to cry.”
That was the moment when she became angry. Oh, she could’ve doubled her efforts and thrashed even harder but she already knew what the result would be of such wasted energy. But knowing she wouldn’t break free from him didn’t put a halt to the welling anger inside her.
Jake was calling her out, in essence – making her face the facts of the decisions she had made and of the mode of operations, if not of survival, she always used when it suited her. And that was just irritating to, essentially, being spanked for having runaway tendencies. But Hunny still wasn’t putting together the bigger picture as to why she was receiving this spanking.
Jake began again, landing blow after blow after blow on her bottom. Hunny could feel the heat on the surface of her cheeks and she could certainly feel the pain that was digging into the meat of her back side. And that dusting of powder! Oh my goodness. It was almost as if it was making the strike sting worse, for all the more powder that was left on her bottom at that point.
She made a few more feeble attempts to get away, but eventually got to the point of exhaustion, then simply slumping over and taking the rest of her spanking without physical opposition. But emotionally, well that was another story.
Her sobbing became constant, beginning as quiet whimpers and growing in volume as tears streamed from the inner corners of her eyes, traveling down the bridge of her nose and dripping off at the tip. But his smacks weren’t producing as great of a reaction as that had initially. So, Jake began to mix in random strikes to the back of her thighs, Hunny suddenly being forced to react as the stings began to sink into and affect new areas.
“Running away only assures the inevitable loneliness that can lead to such a dull life,” Jake said, pausing from the spanking.
Hunny could still feel the rage, though she couldn’t muster the strength needed to even cry anymore. It was as if her senses had become as numb as his strike zones on the back of her body. But somehow, she knew at least a little something had changed inside her. This was some serious, sass-removing and attitude adjusting treatment. She could no longer take it lightly.
Jake returned to spank her, but beginning to do so with much less force. And he continued until she showed no reactions at all. It was at that moment he knew he finally had her undivided attention and complete focus.
Now in the aftermath of the spanking, it really wasn’t the pain that had her so upset. Pain was temporary; even when it seemed so severe that it wouldn’t ever fade away. It also wasn’t the fact that she allowed herself to be put in that situation, willingly until it was too late to become unwilling. No, the usual reasons for being distraught didn’t apply, either.
Instead, it was the strength he possessed that had unsettled her, the control he kept over her and how she had to deal with unpleasant consequences. She didn’t mind the man-handling. Quite honestly, the man-handling was exciting. But now being allowed to kneel on the floor, facing him as he untied the strings that held her pacifier in place and well as untying her wrists, she relived the jarring emotions that still gripped her senses and her mind, having taken her way out of her comfort zone … and now having left her timid, frightened and shaken.
With no idea of what else to do, she knelt up – wrapping her arms around his neck as he took hold of the waist band of her diaper, gently pulling it back up into place. She was weeping, but suddenly found reason to keep that pacifier in her mouth. Even if she had taken it out from between her lips, she wouldn’t have known what to say, just then.
Lifting her up onto his lap, he hugged her back, then working her lay into his cradle. She wept just a bit harder as she came to rest on her sore bottom, somewhat protected from the pain by her diaper. And as he rocked her back and forth, Hunny became accustomed to the soreness she would feel for the rest of that night and likely the next day to come.
“Always listen to Daddy. Always be a good girl for Daddy,” Jake whispered to her, his voice being deep with timbre and inviting in tone. “And always cling to Daddy, whenever you can.”
She did that very thing, practically wrapping her body around him as he held her in his arms. And when later he carried her to bed, she in nothing but her diaper, Hunny found it much easier to accept that the man who had pulled her out of her comfort zone was also to one who put her right back into it.
Her final thoughts before falling asleep had one simple repeating theme: What an amazing beginning to whatever was to come. She really didn’t think much of what she was feeling would be retained, come morning. But for the time being, she basked in the return of everything that felt good, everything that made her comfortable and of where she had been taken.
And the journey of her mind had been navigated by some pampering, a spanking never to be forgotten and a bit of aftercare she had never received before in her life.
She had usually run away before it could’ve been offered to her.
“You’re safe now, Princess,” Jake whispered to her, coming to rest on his bed, Hunny clinging to the side of his body. “And you won’t need to cut-n-run anymore.”
That remained to be seen, but just then, he definitely had her complete attention. And she had focus.Kindle – Nook – PDF Ebook – Kobo – Smashwords – CreateSpace Paperback – Lulu Paperback
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