here’s a little snippet about putting it all together … knowing what you want and finding the words to convey it.
Rolling the Dice –
“Tell me how you would want to live,” Jake said, cutting into his steak. “I mean, tell me everything and don’t hold back. Don’t hesitate and don’t skip the details.”
“What for?” Hunny asked. “What good would that do me?”
“It would give you a chance to live outside of your head, to not be bored and to not be waiting for the next thing to cut-n-run away from,” Jake said, being firm but kind. “Break the cycle, Princess. Break it and own it.”
Hunny smiled but still sniffled. Jake had a way of making her feel self-empowered. It was ironic, however, that Hunny really didn’t want to feel empowered at all. Still, the gesture from him was very, very appreciated. And the truth of this topic had never-fading clarity: she was bored with her life and felt guilt from this since she had no parental issues and no excuses from a poor childhood to fall back on – the usual suspects to blame. She was just bored.
“I just wanna ……… live,” Hunny admitted, pausing to find the right words. “I mean really live for once.”
“So what’s really holding you back from doing that?” Jake asked, hoping she would find the answer without needing direction towards it.
“I don’t know but I always seem to find an excuse,” Hunny answered, bluntly and honestly.
“Tell me what would make you feel alive,” Jake said, reaching across the table, making her unfold her arms and taking hold of her right hand. “Tell me all of it, Princess. Give it all up and spill it.”
Hunny leaned forward, thinking of how to summarize it without making it sound like she was summarizing it. True, Jake had told her to not leave out any of the details. But she would’ve bored him to tears if she had gone into full-explanation mode.
“Excitement, new things, new emotions, new feelings, something I haven’t done before that I swiftly learn I’ve been seeking all along,” Hunny answered, proud of her well-though-out, to-the-point response.
“You have those opportunities all around you. They come into this diner every night,” Jake said. “Whether they engage you respectfully or pinch your ass.”
“No. What I’m talking about is someone reaching inside me and cupping my heart with their hands, making it beat faster than ever before … giving me a reason to breathe and breathe deeply. I’m talking about feeling something new, something I have no ability to put to words at all because of how it has taken my breath away after it gave me the brief momentary ability to fill my lungs. I wanna feel needles on the surface of my skin as I am held by someone who knows how to handle a lady. But at the same time, he knows how to keep me from, once again, denying myself the things I crave so badly that I can taste them on my tongue, hear them perfectly and see them with such a detailed view that I would be remiss for ignoring them,” Hunny said, speaking with a shaky voice but plowing through the fear of the sounds of her admissions. “I wanna wake up and already be overwhelmed by myself, by my mind and my senses. I wanna have absolutely no chance of escaping … cutting-n-running yet again. I wanna feel like I am indeed a princess as you have always called me. I wanna be made to beg for more and rewarded for how deeply my emotions run. You guys really can understand or appreciate how much a girl tries, how much she really, really tries to be incredible at everything, to be unlike any other who came along before and unlike anyone who will appear in the future. I wanna be seen like that – from the inside, not just viewed from my surfaces. I wanna be made thirsty and then be inundated with water all at once. I wanna be ……… helplessly captive to everything, so captive that I can’t run away.”
Hunny paused to catch her breath, then grabbing his coffee cup and drinking down the rest of the coffee in it before continuing.
“I wanna be handled with a gentle touch and gripped with a commanding clasp at the same time. I wanna have no idea where I’m being led, but I want to feel so assured of myself that I don’t question those commands,” Hunny said, becoming lost inside her own explanation. “And I guess more than anything else, I wanna to feel what it’s like to be that important to someone and to know that such time has been spent on me that I would be better for it – permanently remolded into something greater than what I already am. I wanna take the chance and accept the results. I wanna roll the dice and find that crown I’m supposed to have. I wanna know that something other than a frog wants me, wants to take care of me and needs me. Do you know what I mean?”
“I think I might know a little something that could help you. No pun intended,” Jake replied with a smile that had some sort of devious, if not devilish, origin to it.
“Huh? What pun?” Hunny asked, puzzled by his quick remark.
“Never mind. We’ll get to that soon enough,” Jake said, raising an eyebrow at her. “And you’ll definitely roll the dice. Just make certain to blow on them first … for good luck. That’s really what’s need. Isn’t it?”
“I guess so?” she asked, still trying to come down from the euphoric state of mind she had put herself in. “So what does that mean?”
“What that means is: you know what you want but you don’t know how to get it,” Jake said, his eyes twinkling with a scheming glow.
“So how do I learn what I need to learn?” Hunny asked, lowering her chin and nibbling on her lower lip.
She had absolutely no idea what he was getting at, but the mysterious gaze in his eyes was quite intriguing to her.
“Being directed as to what to do,” Jake answered cryptically, Hunny raising an eyebrow back at him.
“O … – kay,” she said, cautiously.
“Look at it like this: If you always get to a specific point and then cut-n-run, what if you were prevented from cutting-n-running, altogether?” Jake asked. “Made to not even be able to resist.”
“You mean like being forced?” Hunny asked back, still very cautious as she still wasn’t piecing everything together yet.
“Forced is an ugly way to put it, but you’re in the right ballpark,” Jake said, cutting into his steak again.
“Hmm,” Hunny said, closing her mouth and sucking in her lips as she leaned back and folded her arms once more. “That sounds … dirty more than ugly to me – kinky even …….. wait a minute. Is there something about you I don’t know?”
“There are many things about everyone we meet that we don’t know. No one wears everything about themselves on their sleeve,” Jake said with a sly grin.
She stuck the tip of her tongue into her right cheek, now intrigued in a different way.
“Tell me what I don’t know about you,” Hunny said, her voice suddenly seeming less interested but more nosey.
“Ahh. And now she prods for information,” he replied, eating a bite of his steak.
“Investigating more than prodding,” Hunny said, bantering back with a coy approach.
If nothing else, Jake was always the worthy adversary for her that none of the other diner patron regulars could be. And she always puzzled as to why, but never denied that he could make her tingle in all the right places.
“That seems counter-productive, doesn’t it? We are talking about you and what you’ve suddenly chosen to do is to divert the conversation away from yourself. Another cut-n-run technique?” Jake jested back playfully.
“Maybe,” she said with a cheery grin and a laugh. “You always give my mind a workout, don’t you?”
Jake picked up his coffee and blew the steam off its surface while giving her a wink.
“I’m not throwing up a smoke screen, though I admit that I often do that,” Hunny confessed. “I’m not so much looking for a diversion as I am … wondering if we actually have something in common.”
He raised his left eyebrow as she covered her face with her hands.
“I have …um,” she stuttered out, trying to find the courage along with the right words to make an enormous confession to him. “It’s, uh … well, it’s a kind of an abnormal thing. Well, it isn’t abnormal in the sense of not being normal. No, wait. I mean … not a lot of people have interest in this thing. Well, there actually are a lot of people, but not like … openly about it. It’s … I don’t know how to explain it. I’m just gonna shut up now.”
“Don’t cut-n-run, Princess,” he said, then drinking from his cup.
“I’m not doing that. It’s just that …,” she said, then pausing to look around to make certain no one had walked into the diner – before turning back to him, leaning forward and whispering. “I have fantasies about being controlled. About not being in charge.”
Jake set his cup down, not breaking eye contact with her but also not speaking.
“Like a 50 shades sort of thing?” he asked, thoroughly fascinated.
“Well … sort of. I mean, more like the book than the movie,” she said freely. “I bet you weren’t expecting to hear that.”
“Honestly, no,” he admitted, smiling.
“And I bet I just confused you, right?” she asked, nibbling her lower lip and studying his facial expressions to get an idea of what he was thinking – since he wasn’t really saying how he felt about it.
“No. You actually just explained exactly what I was questioning in my mind,” he said – sliding his plate to the side, directing her forearms down onto the table and joining hands with her as he gazed directly into her baby blue eyes. “Tell me all about this off-the-beaten-path interest of yours.”
Hunny smiled and lowered her chin, allowing the blush to shade her cheeks with a pinkish hue. She tried to free her hands from his grasp so as to cover her face with them, but Jake wasn’t letting go. No way.
“No, no, no,” Jake affectionately whispered, his tone setting off a flutterance of sensations inside her. “And you need to stop stalling.”
Her knees started bouncing as she took in a deep breath through her nostrils and her body took on an ever-so-slight tremble as she began to speak – revealing some of the best-kept secrets she knew.
“I have this thing about feeling like I’m really young again. It’s not really a Daddy’s Girl fetish, so to say. And I don’t have that complex because my father was always wonderful and he still is,” Hunny began, stumbling through her explanation. “So I don’t want you to think that I’m all issue-laden about that sort of thing – because I’m not.”
“Princess,” Jake interjected, trying to help her through the obvious difficulty she was having. “You don’t need to validate anything. Just say it and speak right from your heart.”
“I feel like a little girl inside, not little like young in age, but little like emotionally and mentally,” Hunny said, pausing to catch the breath she had just stolen from herself as the realization of what she just said hit her with the force of a ton of brick being dropped on her. “And I love how it makes me feel.”
“So what’s the fantasy you have?” Jake asked, Hunny welcoming a whole new waltz of butterflies into her stomach.
“I want to feel like a little girl and be kept like that, no matter what I say about it or how I fuss about it,” Hunny continued, surprised how much easier it suddenly seemed to spill her heart’s wishes. “I know I’ll have an attitude and a bit of sass to me. It’s who I am, but no matter how defiant I am, I don’t want to be given a break … maybe so far as to have my attitude ignored … after I’ve been taught a lesson or two.”
The pinkish blush on her face turned deep red with embarrassment and Hunny felt as if she had just exposed herself completely, from the inside out.
“There,” he said softly. “That’s wasn’t nearly as hard to say as what you thought it would be, right?”
“Yeah. I guess,” she admitted, still floating back down from a heightened state of self-humiliation.
“Then let me give you another shocker of a thought,” Jake said, finishing his cup of coffee as he wiped his mouth with a napkin and stood up – Hunny following suit as she led him to the cash register and began ringing up his bill. “What makes you cut-n-run isn’t your uncertainty about you. It’s your uncertainty about how others see your fantasies. Does that make sense?”
Hunny looked up from the register, her eyes gleaming with a bit of hopefulness they hadn’t possessed in a while.
“Yes!” she exclaimed with excitement.
“Well,” Jack began, taking out his wallet and handing her his credit card. “What if the opportunity presented to you were such that you knew for absolute certain that the other person would not only smile upon your fantasies, but welcome them and help you to indulge in them?”
Hunny’s eyes grew big and wide, the possibilities flooding her little mind.
“Just think about it,” Jake said.
Oh my, he was right. This was definitely no time to respond, but instead, to simply fantasize inside her mind … one more time.
She looked down at his credit card and tilted her head to the side when she read his full name on it.
“I didn’t know your first name was Jackson,” she said, handing him the credit card back as well as a receipt to sign. “I figured your name was Jacob.”
“Jake sounded good to me. I always went with that instead,” he said, signing the receipt and handing it back to her.
“Why didn’t you just go with Jack?” she said, taking the receipt from him.
“That would be dumb,” Jake said bluntly, pausing for added effect and then grinning as she laughed. “I’ll see ya Friday night, if you’re working then.”
“Yep,” Hunny said with a frown. “3-11pm, exactly what I want to be doing on a Friday night.”
“Relax, Princess,” he said walking towards the exit. “Just be a … good little girl … and you’ll get through it.”
Hunny did anything but relax, for the rest of that night or the next day or Friday before she came into work. Her mind was buzzed and in a whirl with the fresh memories of having revealed her best-kept secrets to Jake. But above and beyond every single thought was the repeated sound of his voice asking her a question she just simply couldn’t get out of her mind:
“What if the opportunity presented to you were such that you knew for absolute certain that the other person would not only smile upon your fantasies, but welcome them and help you to indulge in them?”
Wordy as the question was, it was still very clear in meaning.
So when Jake walked into the diner at 9pm on that Friday night, she was ready to thoroughly prod him this time – for need of her own curiosity as well as her sanity.
Friday evening, 9pm
“Heya, Princess,” Jake said as he walked in, giving her a wink and making his way over to his usual booth.
Hunny smiled, turning to the pickup window and pouring his cup of coffee as George the cook finished prepping Jake’s meal.
“I’m gonna step outside for a nice long smoke break,” George said to her, putting the plate of food on the pickup window. “Take your time, Hunny. Looks like you’ve finally met your match with this one.”
“Huh?” Hunny whispered to him as she picked up the plate.
George looked at her like she was being unnecessarily thick.
“It looks like you’ve caught the interest of a good one,” George said, putting his coat on. “So don’t rush through this.”
Hunny sucked in her lips to hide the beaming smile. It made her feel really good that George had noticed the compatibility she might well have with Jake. And his encouragement for her to go for it only made her feel that much better.
Picking up his coffee cup as well, Hunny turned around to face Jake. Putting grace in her posture and slowly walking around the counter, she kept repeating a single phrase in her mind: There’s no hurry. There’s no rush. Take your time.
“So how’s your day been?” Jake asked as Hunny put the plate in front of him and the cup of coffee on the edge of the table.
“Fine. So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about our talk the other night,” Hunny said while taking a seat in the booth with him, dispensing with the initial pleasantries to get right to her current matter of the heart.
“Okay,” Jake said with a smile as he picked up his cup of coffee and took a drink.
“Can you really show me my fantasies?” Hunny asked, boldly and with hope in her eyes.
No. She wasn’t desperate, just choosing to entertain the possibility before she likely cut and ran, as usual.
“I can try to help you find your fantasies,” Jake said, cutting into his steak. “But I’d like to help you conquer this whole cut-n-run thing. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find a way to finally feel like you’re really living life.”
“That would be incredible. So umm …,” Hunny said, then pausing to find the courage to keep being bold. “Can I ask you to sort of, tell me what you would do to help me feel alive?”
Hunny’s eyes were filled with a mixture of playful lust and innocent wishes, giving her complexion an adorable glow. Jake wasn’t just obliged to fulfill her request. He was obliged to help her see that what she sought really wasn’t a difficult thing to find. She just simply needed to start looking in the right places.
“Well,” Jake began, sipping from his coffee. “It’s really just a matter of taking you out of your comfort zone without taking your fantasies away at the same time.”
“Now it’s your turn to speak with details, Jake,” Hunny said, looking over her shoulder to make certain the diner was still empty before she turned back to him and leveled with him. “Tell me of actions, not of concepts. What will take me out of my comfort zone?”
“You will find new composure, relearning how to move inside your own body. You will speak with a tone that sounds odd to you, but what you will say will come directly from your mind. You won’t send your words through a filter before you say them,” Jake said calmly but with enough animation in his voice to spark her instinctive reactions. “You’ll dress a certain way and behave a certain way and before long you won’t have to be told what to wear, how to act and how to carry yourself. It will take little time to take your thoughts and change the way you think. And on top of all of this, you will crave that moment when you can finally give up.”
“You know you’re asking for the impossible, right?” Hunny asked with honesty.
“No, I’m asking for the improbable,” Jake answered. “But something that is improbable still has a chance. That’s all you’ll need.”
“I wouldn’t cut-n-run from you, but I’d probably resist if you tried to help me,” Hunny said, a greater twinkle filling her eyes as she slipped her feet out of her work shoes and put them up on his lap.
“I’m counting on it,” Jake said, putting his hand under the table and feeling the calves of her lower legs.
“You really don’t want to spend time inside a girl’s mind. I would change to suit what and who you wanted me to be. It’s a typical m.o. for a girl who finds interest in a guy,” she admitted, moving her toes in between his thighs.
“I think I’m beginning to understand part of the reason why you haven’t felt like you’ve really lived life yet,” Jake said, coaxing on her unique version of the game of footsies.
“I mean, I would change the way I thought, but it wouldn’t be a permanent change,” she stated proudly.
“I wouldn’t bet on that,” Jake said, winking at her and then taking a sip of his coffee.
“I would,” Hunny said with absolute confidence.
“Is that so?” Jake asked. “Okay, then let’s make a bet. I bet you that in ten days’ time, you will be incapable of cutting and running. And also that you won’t realize how much you’ve changed by then.”
“I’ll take that bet,” Hunny said, indulging herself in yet another bit of playful bantering with her favorite patron – but this time, there was a wager. “I bet you I can do exactly as I’m told, wearing what I’m given to wear, eating what I’m given to eat, behaving as you tell me to and doing everything exactly as you instruct. And in ten days’ time, I will still be able to cut and run from you … that is, if I wanted to.”
“Deal,” Jake said.
“So what are the antes for this bet?” Hunny asked.
“No antes,” Jake said answered. “We’re already wagering enough to begin with.”
“And what about work?” Hunny asked. “I’m only off Wednesday in the next week.”
“Then we’ll have to spend time together after you finish work each night,” Jake answered. “At my place.”
Hunny suddenly ran out of things to say and questions to ask, her mind spinning inside her head.
“This sounds like it could be a real case of snake eyes,” Jake stated, cutting into the rest of his steak.
“Huh?” Hunny asked, confused as to what that reference was about.
“Snake eyes are what you would call a roll of dice that produces only two ones,” Jake explained.
“I know that,” Hunny said bluntly.
“Okay, but did you know that snake eyes can also mean: a complete lack of success?” Jake answered.
“Is that right?” Hunny asked, a bit intrigued by the insinuation he was making. “So how would our arrangement be snake eyes?”
“Well, it’s sort of a win-win that you would actually have to lose first in order to win,” Jake explained, Hunny staring at him like he was the king of rhetoric. “If you actually get something from the time we spend together, then you’ll be able to conquer your own cut-n-run impulses. But by doing this, you will have changed.”
“So, even if I lose, I still win,” Hunny said, smirking. “And that’s why it would be snake eyes. Hmm. I can handle that.”
Jake finished his coffee and got his coat.
“Before you go,” Hunny said, standing up with him. “I want you to tell me how you would prevent me from cutting and running.”
“With the nose and the nipples,” Jake answered, putting on his coat.
“The what and what?” Hunny asked, laughing at what he just said.
“I’ll show you what I mean,” Jake said, leading her back to the bathroom hallway, having her face the wall and taking the his meal bill from her hand before stepping up behind her and beginning to whisper in her ear. “Now … spread your feet apart to a comfortable stance.”
Hunny sucked in her lips, trying not to laugh at him but doing as he requested – spreading her feet apart enough to stand comfortably. Then he took hold of her arms, put them flat to her sides and then turned her hands before putting her palms against the wall in front of her.
“Spread your fingers apart,” Jake whispered, his hot breath traveling down over her sternum as she spread her fingers apart – her palms pressed against the wall at mid-thigh height. “That’s it. Now close your eyes.”
Hunny closed her eyes and stopped sucking in her lips as she was no longer fighting back laughter or a smile. It had suddenly gotten a lot more serious and oh my, could she feel those butterflies in her stomach.
“Little girls who have a tendency to be runaways must be watched very carefully,” Jake whispered as he reached around to her sternum and began unbuttoning the front of her waitress outfit.
Hunny opened her lips, trying to steady her heavily-beating heart with deeper breaths. She could feel the front of her outfit being opened and then she could feel his hands as they took hold of both of her lapels – pulling either side of her top apart and taking the material down off her shoulders, down her arms and to her elbows.
“If you can’t be trusted to stay put, then you will be made to stay put,” Jake whispered as he slipped his thumbs under the bra straps at her clavicle bones – sliding the straps down her arms and to her elbows.
Her breasts were released from the under-support of her bra, spilling out.
“And with a very watchful eye, I will keep track of you as you keep track of yourself,” Jake said, gently pressing her body towards the wall.
Hunny was made to take a step forward, the tip of her nose and her nipples coming in contact with the wall. She didn’t know what to do, but was so excited from the experience she chose to do nothing at all. Jake lifted up the back of her skirt and tucked its lower hem into the back strings of her apron. Then he lowered the back of her panties, tucking them just below the underside of each of her bottom cheeks.
“If you ever find yourself in this position,” Jake said, writing something on his meal tab before folding it up and tucking it into her cleavage. “You can expect a well-deserved spanking to follow.”
Hunny’s heart began to pound even faster in her chest. She could feel herself swelling and arousing. And oh, had Jake just planted all sorts of new fantasies in her mind.
“In ten days, you’ll have forgotten how to cut and run, but you’ll understand very clearly what snake eyes means for you,” Jake said before patting her bare bottom. “Good night, Princess. Roll the dice.”
Hunny remained there in that position for a few minutes, living out the new visions of fantasy that had so swiftly invaded and captivated her little mind. Finally she would open her eyes, step away from the wall, take hold of the meal bill he had put in her cleavage and then put her outfit back together. She casually strolled back out in the diner, hoping no one had entered and seen anything – but strangely, she sort of hoped that someone had seen. There still wasn’t a single patron there, however. And Jake was suddenly gone.
Going to the cash register, her eyes grew big and wide when she saw that he had left her a $100 for a meal ticket that was only $36.54. Flipping the meal bill over, she read what he had written to her:
Sunday night … as soon as you get off work.
8669 East Callahan Drive.
Roll the dice, Princess.
Walking out back, Hunny joined George in his smoke break. She had never had a cigarette in her life. She had never needed one, until just then.
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