here is a little story about the delightful results that occur when purpose meets humiliation.
Warning: This Ain’t No Daddy/BabyGirl Story.
The Morning Routine –
Saturday Morning – 9 a.m.
Naya walked around the side of Ava and Antonio’s house, heading to the back door of the kitchen. She was happy to see they had made it out of the city and into a more rural area in one piece. While Naya and Ava had been city girls their whole lives, Antonio was the guy who stole Ava’s heart and convinced her to move where life was just a bit slower. And Ava really took to the rural setting, right away … quicker than what she thought she would. But despite the half hour difference between her and Naya, they still remained as close as they had always been – since the day they met each other in 2nd grade and became lifelong friends.
Naya and Ava shared everything with each other – with the exceptions of boyfriends and underwear. But from clothing to jewelry to cars to cash to … secrets, they may as well have been sisters.
And this was why Naya’s trip to Ava and Antonio’s house on this particular day was a little troubling for Naya. Ava clued Naya in on a brand-new secret last weekend that Naya had been trying to process all week – to no avail.
Hopefully, this morning Ava would not only give explanation but also reasoning – at least enough for Naya to wrap her brain around the concept.
Knocking on the screen door at the back of the kitchen, Naya waited eagerly – going through all the possibilities of what Ava would say and making certain to be prepared to preserve their friendship at all costs.
“Heya, girl. Come on in,” Ava said, appearing at the screen door and opening it, holding a cup of coffee and wearing nothing but a short, pink silk robe, tied at the front with a silk belt.
“Heya, sweetie,” Naya said, embracing Ava. “I would ask if I came too early, but I know you. You’ll get dressed when you’re good and ready to. And not a moment sooner.”
“If I had my way, I’d never be dressed at all,” Ava said, walking over to the cupboard and getting down a coffee mug for Naya. “Quite honestly …”
“Quite honestly, you think women should never have to wear anything but underwear and men should wear nothing at all. I know,” Naya said, cutting Ava off and finishing her thought. “I’ve known you for a few years, Girl.”
Ava and Naya shared a smile. Ava poured a cup of coffee for her best friend as Naya went to the fridge to get the creamer.
“You might actually be the only person who knows everything about me,” Ava said, taking a seat at the kitchen table and setting Naya’s coffee in the middle.
“Well, I thought so … until last weekend,” Naya said, diving right into the topic of the visit. “But then you dropped a bombshell on me.”
“I’m sorry,” Ava apologized, Naya sitting down at the kitchen table pouring creamer into her coffee. “But I figured if anyone in this world would understand, it would probably be you.”
“I probably would understand,” Naya said. “But you didn’t really explain it to me. You just, sort of, blurted it out and then had to hang up the phone quickly.”
“I know,” Ava said, laughing at herself. “I started to tell you and then got really scared about what you might think. So I ran away.”
“But now that the cat is out of the bag, you need to explain it to me,” Naya said, honestly but supportively. “And if I don’t at least understand that this is important to you, then it will be the first time in the 27 years we’ve known each other that I didn’t understand.”
Ava smiled, her and Naya joining hands across the kitchen table. Naya was right. Who else in this world would possibly understand, if not her best friend in life?
“Okay. First off, let me ask … um,” Ava said, then sipping from her cup to take a moment to collect her thoughts.
“Would this be easier if I just asked you the questions that I’ve been thinking about for a week?” Naya asked, then sipping from her cup.
“Much easier,” Ava said, smiling softly. “Thanks, sis.”
“Okay the first question is: Is this something you want to do or is it something that someone else wants you to do?” Naya asked, broaching right in. “Like, for instance: Antonio wanted you to move out of the city and you did it. And you found out that you like the quieter setting. But, when you did it, you were doing it to make him happy. Is that what this is, as well?”
“Yes. And just like the move out of the city, I was hesitant but found out how good the countryside is,” Ava answered confidently. “This is no different. When I first tried it out, I didn’t realize how much I would like it.”
“Okay, the second question is: How long ago did this happen?” Naya asked, then sipping from her coffee and getting up to put the creamer back in the fridge.
“We’re at … about six months, I think,” Ava answered, pausing to make sure that the month count was right.
“I can see that. That makes sense,” Naya answered, sipping from her coffee.
“What do you mean you can see it?” Ava asked, setting her coffee cup down and pulling her silk robe closed, pinching the lapels together at her neck line. “Are you telling me it shows?”
“Oh. Stop it,” Naya laughed. “What I’m saying is: You are all aglow and I can tell that it’s really changed your way of living.”
“Well … it has to,” Ava replied, then biting her lower lip as she prepared to make an embarrassing confession. “We’ve … bought furniture.”
“You’re kidding me!” Naya said, her mouth dropping wide open and her face lighting up as if she had just heard some juicy gossip. “Is it in the house?”
“Well … yeah,” Ava answered shyly as if she were trying to protect against revealing anything more.
“Where’s Antonio right now? Is he still sleeping?” Naya asked, Ava nodding slyly – a twinkle filling her irises. “Show me. Show me this whole thing. Let me see it. Let the secret out for me.”
Ava closed her eyes, her heart-pounding with excitement. Oh my goodness, what an intense moment of choice. She had wanted to say something to Naya for six months ago. And now suddenly, here Naya was – asking to be shown everything.
“Okay, BUT …,” Ava said, setting her coffee cup down, standing up, taking Naya by the hand and leading her to the front staircase. “You have to promise me to be sensitive.”
“Oh, Ava. I promise. I can see that this is something that means a lot to you. I’m not gonna judge. I’m just gonna be looking to understand,” Naya said as they began to walk up the stairs.
“Okay,” Ava whispered as she led Naya back the hallway to the master bedroom. “I want you to follow my lead and just watch. It’ll be the best way for you to understand.”
“Ava, you’re making it sound like we’re about to walk into a library with a really mean librarian on the other side of this door,” Naya said, giggling softly.
“No, luckily there’s no Mrs. Spence on the other side of this door. That old bag is probably still the Nazi librarian at Edgemont Elementary School where we left her,” Ava said, quietly joining in the laugh. “But if you’re sensitive to how this makes me feel, I need you to be just as sensitive to how it makes the person who actually is on the other side of this door feel.”
Naya’s eyes grew big-n-wide, another little piece of the puzzle having just fallen into place.
“Okay. Lead the way, Ava,” Naya said softly as Ava placed her hand on the doorknob and quietly turned it.
The bedroom door slowly opened, the sunlight of mid-morning entering through the front window and cascading golden beams onto anything it touched.
Ava and Antonio had gone to see this house three times before they decided to purchase it – once in the morning, once in the afternoon and once in the early evening. And it was the way that the sun poured in through different windows at different times that sold the place to Ava – but none more brilliantly that how the morning sun illuminated the master bedroom.
Squinting her eyes slightly, Naya looked around the room – seeing the king-sized bed with its oak wood frame and headboard, the blonde-wood wicker vanity set on the one side of the room (the only bit of Ava’s furniture that seemed to have remained), a tall wooden dresser with a huge mirror above it and …
Naya’s jaw dropped open when she saw the furniture purchase Ava had spoken of. It was a sight in itself, matching the wood of the dresser and the bed. But it was what the furniture held that had made Naya speechless. She pointed to it and looked at Ava, trying to find the motor skills to vocalize what she wanted to say – but finding none.
“Yes. It’s a crib. What did you expect?” Ava said with her softest whisper yet as she led Naya over to the crib side. “Antonio put it together by himself … and when he was done, I put him in it right away.”
Carefully and quietly lowering the wooden side railing, Ava took a step to the right – Naya then taking a step forward to see him.
Lying on his back, his head turned to the side and nestled against a pillow. His eyes were closed and his chest rose-n-lowered with steadied breathing. He was fast-asleep. Tucked between his lips was a white pacifier. His torso was dressed in a soft-cotton, short-sleeved onesie with buttons at the crotch. And his waist was bulked out, visual evidence of the diaper Ava had put him in.
Gently, he nursed on the pacifier – seemingly lost in the most comfortable place in the world … one where he could relax, fully and completely … one where defenses not only could be let down but where defenses had no place at all. There was no tension in his body anywhere, not in his drooping shoulders or his parted-n-bowed legs.
Sleeping peacefully was something anyone could desire and enjoy, but Antonio was doing more than that. He wasn’t just allowing himself to rest. Ava had allowed him to forget about everything else – except for her. And from the glow about her, Ava certainly was making statements without speaking a single word.
Naya watched silently as Ava placed her left hand on Antonio’s chest, feeling his strong heartbeat through the front of his onesie. And as if he knew she was right there, he softly whimpered behind his pacifier – making the smallest of body movements as a tiny fidget shifted his frame.
“Shhhhhhh,” Ava softly whispered to him, her hand traveling down the front of his onesie and onto the buttons between his legs – then patting him just as gently as she had spoken to him.
There was a definite power Ava possessed over him. That was clear and evident to Naya at this point. Naya could see how such absolute power could become addicting for Ava … if it had no other purpose than to fill Ava with the sense of manipulation or control or just a simple sense of domination.
But there was more to it than that, far more. And this was the part of the explanation Ava was having trouble putting to words. Ava’s apprehensions were now justified and understood by Naya, though Naya still couldn’t yet understand what the hook was.
Antonio seemed so helpless, yet so contented by it. And Naya had to admit to herself that he looked very cute, very adorable. Silently, she gushed over him until she had to break the silence of the sweet moment with a sentiment that could no longer remain hushed.
“I wouldn’t have believed it unless I had seen it,” Naya whispered, touched by the helpless sight of him. “He’s a baby.”
“That he is,” Ava whispered, her face aglow as she gazed down at her beloved little guy. “I want you to play along with the atmosphere.”
“The atmosphere?” Naya asked, looking for clarification.
“Just smile and be very loving to him,” Ava replied, sitting on the very side edge of the crib. “You want explanation? Watch how he reacts. Watch his eyes.”
Ava placed her right hand over his heart, beginning to hum very softly and sweetly as she circled her pointer fingernail around his heart. Her left hand was still gently patting him between his legs. Ava’s face was beaming with that glow Naya could only assume came from a maternal emotion and her face held a bright smile. A few seconds of this tender treatment was all it took to softly stir Antonio awake.
Taking in a deep breath through his nostrils, his chest rose as his right hand lifted up off his side and reached over to his heart. Connecting fingers with Ava, he opened his eyes. And instantly, the affection that detailed Ava’s expression and fueled her actions, also filled Antonio’s face. His eyes glazed over with a helpless stare, one that immediately looked to her for guidance, for love, for reason to live.
That was the hook. That was it, right there. That moment, that first moment of their day together explained everything. And Naya finally understood why Ava couldn’t find the words to explain why. It was because there were no words for something that had to be felt … in order to be understood.
“Good morning, my little prince,” Ava said with a softened, song-like tone in her voice. “Did you sleep well?”
Antonio smiled brightly behind his pacifier, nodding and then closing his eyes.
“Uh, uh, uh,” Ava whispered playfully. “It’s time to get up.”
Ava unfastened the onesie buttons between his legs, never taking her eyes off him as she cupped the underside of his diaper – her face beaming more brightly still with a smile of satisfaction.
“Mommy loves you,” she whispered, beginning to gather up the bottom of his onesie – then helping him to sit up and lift his arms for the onesie to come off.
Ava placed both of her forearms behind his shoulders, pulling him into her embrace and holding him tightly against her.
“Did you wet your diaper?” Ava softly whispered in his left ear with a playful tone, her face still beaming that satisfied smile as she ever-so-gently began rocking him back and forth.
Antonio nodded shyly, turning to mush in her arms – his head spinning but not from an attack of vertigo. Rather, from the desired effect of nurturing. And Ava knew how to lay it on thick.
“Back down ya go, but stay awake, Tony,” Ava said, easing him back down onto the crib mattress. “We have a visitor, baby.”
Naya walked up behind Ava, a little nervous actually, but still keeping her promise to not disrupt the atmosphere as she waved at him.
“Hello, Antonio,” Naya said softly and calmly as Ava began unfastening the tapes at his hips.
Antonio instantly blushed, the core of his very soul being inundated with the strongest sense of humiliation he had ever felt. Not only was there someone else in the bedroom who now clearly knew the greatest secret of his life, but she was also someone familiar who he had known for a while and who Ava had known for the majority of her life.
His face turned beet red and his hands, placed on the pillow on either side of his head, curled at the fingers. His eyes welled with tears as he fidgeted with reaction to the embarrassment. But even though he was still physically capable of getting up off that crib mattress and running into the bathroom to get away, he didn’t. And this was what Naya found to be the most remarkable reaction of all, or rather, a remarkable lack of one. Antonio, the weight lifter and all-around hunky guy her best friend had pulled out of the sea of fish, was submitting to the situation and succumbing to dependence on Ava. And for this reason, Antonio couldn’t do anything. He didn’t just harbor helplessness in his eyes. He was surrendering to it, without hope of anything otherwise.
“Aww,” Naya cooed, seeing the evident signs of how embarrassed he was as Ava lowered the front of his drenched diaper. “What a helpless little guy you are. It’s okay. Don’t cry.”
Reaching for the tiny shelf at the left back corner of the crib, Ava opened the lid of the plastic container of baby wipes – taking one out and beginning to wipe his front from hip-to-hip and working her way down between his legs. Antonio nursed on his pacifier, looking back at her with a vulnerable gaze.
“Show Mommy’s friend what a good baby you are,” Ava said sweetly, her face still beaming with satisfaction as Antonio mindlessly lifted his legs and bent them – parting his knees as widely as the crib would allow.
Naya gasped softly as Ava took the baby wipe to the guy parts between his legs. Antonio was completely exposed and without will-power to do anything other than accept his place. Ava’s strokes with the wipe to his skin were gentle and caring. She had no intention of causing any arousal within him at all. Yet, she understood that guys were affected by touch, too. And certain reactions could not only be expected but were also natural.
“Mommy’s very proud of her little prince,” Ava said, reaching for another baby wipe.
Then she pressed her right forearm into the middle of his hamstrings – making his bottom lift up enough for her to slide the wet diaper out from underneath him.
“Maybe another way to explain this to you is to tell you the story of Antonio and me,” Ava said, lowering his bottom and legs back to the crib mattress as she picked up his onesie and walked it over to the hamper in the master bathroom.
Naya sat down on the edge of the crib side, taking the wet diaper and beginning to roll it up into a tight ball – a skill learned from having been a babysitter many times in her life. Antonio laid there in front of Naya, completely naked as Ava began to gather a few things from the shelves in the bathroom closet.
“Okay,” Naya said to Ava while smiling sweetly at the blushing Antonio. “Tell me how you learned this little secret about him.”
“I think it was almost exactly six months ago when he first told me. And I remember that night so clearly,” Ava said, search through the stack of diaper in the closet to find the really thick ones and then taking one down when she found them. “We hadn’t moved here yet but we were discussing the possibility of moving out of the city. It was 3am and I woke up to find him sitting on the foot of the bed. His elbows were on his knees and his face was buried in his hands.”
Ava paused, looking back into the bedroom – to Antonio in the crib.
“He was so upset that night and was completely overcome with emotion. Heart-crippling emotion he called it,” Ava said, remembering that night as if it were last night.
“And what had him so upset?” Naya said, rubbing Antonio’s belly as she listened to Ava.
“He told me that he had been lying to me since the day met. And he felt horrible that he had kept a secret from me,” Ava said, taking a container of baby powder off the closet shelf and walking up to the bathroom entrance – leaning on the door stop. “I was so worried he was going to tell me something like how he had another girlfriend or how he had cheated on me and gotten someone pregnant or how he was a closet-homosexual and that he really didn’t love me at all. But none of that was the case.”
Ava paused to smile again at the reflection.
“My beloved Antonio confessed to me on that night that he had a rather strange quirk about him, an interesting interest – to say the least. He had always believed it was just some fetish in his mind, but lately he had been learning it wasn’t just a fetish to him. It was truly a part of who he was,” Ava said, grinning at the thought of how petrified he was on that night. “You can just imagine where my mind went right away after that. And by the time he poured his soul out all over the bed, confessing to me he was a little baby, I had wild visions of chains and whips and all sorts of crazy things.”
“That really took a lot for him to open up to you like that. It couldn’t have been easy for him at all,” Naya said, rubbing the inside of his right thigh and talking to Ava while keeping eye-contact with him.
And this time, while Ava told the story of them, Antonio’s gaze never once flickered out of regression. It was almost like he heard them talking about him, but at the same time, wasn’t listening close enough to understand what they were saying.
“Oh, the poor little thing couldn’t stop confessing to me. And for as helpless as he was even then, it was helpful that he kept talking about it because I was thoroughly confused and really didn’t understand. For a short time, I felt like I had done something wrong in our relationship. But I was able to piece together that I hadn’t done anything wrong at all. And neither had he,” Ava continued walking back to the foot of the crib and gazing down at him. “And the whole time, he just kept apologizing to me that he hadn’t told me sooner. It took me a few minutes to convince him it was okay and that I wasn’t upset with him.”
“It sounds like he was having a little breakdown,” Naya said, looking up at Ava.
“Yes, he was. And it was painful for me to watch. All I wanted to do was make him feel better,” Ava said, pausing to collect herself before continuing. “He was crying uncontrollably by the end, still feeling ashamed that he had kept it from me. And when he could no longer speak for being so upset, that was when I took him in his arms and held him …… That was when the bond truly began.”
“Wow,” Naya said, talking to Ava but looking back at Antonio. “Ava, you actually do have the words to explain it, after all.”
And as Ava began to unfold the new diaper, Naya looked down at the parts between Antonio’s legs.
“Maybe some time you can tell me how you convinced him to become hairless,” Naya said with a sly tone as she stood up and moved so Ava could sit on the edge of the crib side.
“Hmm,” Ava said, taking a seat and placing the unfolded new diaper flat to the mattress between his legs before running her right hand up-n-down all the smooth area between his legs. “It only seemed right to make him get rid of all that hair he had. He’s my baby now. And he needs to stay smooth for his Mommy.”
If there were any brain cells left in Antonio’s head that were still functioning properly, after Ava made that statement and then began rubbing her hands between his legs – those brain cells joined the rest as all normal brain functions ceased.
“And though he is really shy about it, even to this very moment, Mommy knows how much he likes to be treated like a baby. That’s who he truly is inside,” Ava said with syrupy-sweetness, putting Antonio’s mind in the fast lane on the Highway to Mushville.
Ava bent his knees and lifted his legs again, his tailbone-n-bottom lifting up just enough for her to slide the back of the new diaper up to the waistline at his lower lumbar. Then, following instinct and routine, Antonio parted his legs – presenting his exposure to Ava.
“He certainly is a baby, isn’t he? And what a good little boy he is, too,” Naya said with syrupy-sweetness, not only beginning to catch on to what Ava meant by playing along with the atmosphere but also beginning to understand how she could foster its growth. “Look at how he wants to help his Mommy.”
Antonio leaned his head back on the pillow, not for attempt to try to go back to sleep again, but for suddenly dizziness from the nurturing attention of two people. He was accustomed to receiving this kind of attention from Ava, alone. And as she sprinkled a healthy amount of baby powder into her left hand, then touching the powder to his bottom, Ava started laying the regression down just as thickly as the coating she was giving his cheeks.
“And my baby just loves powder. It feels so cool, so clean, so soft,” Ava said with a sweet maternal tone as she turned his bottom white.
Antonio opened his eyes, but found trouble focusing in on anything to 20/20 clarity. He nursed on his pacifier as he felt a familiar stiffness forming between his legs. It wasn’t stiffness from arousal, but rather, from knowing what else Ava was about to touch. His reaction to the tactile was unavoidable. And presently, it was quite intense as Naya was in the room and was there to witness this reaction.
Ava’s maternal glow and composure remained constant, but Naya’s face lit up with a knowing-grin – just another bit of stimulus to turn him beet red with embarrassment, all over again.
“My little boy is putty in my hands,” Ava said with delighted tone as she coated him between his legs with powder and then used both of her hands to caress it into all the guy parts between her fingers. “And he just loves his Mommy so much that he melts when she diapers him.”
Antonio smiled brightly behind his pacifier, a contented little whimper escaping from his lips.
“Aww,” Naya said, brimming from ear-to-ear with a sly smile as she looked down at him. “How happy he must be right now.”
“This is only the beginning,” Ava said, brushing the powder on her palms across his midriff from hip-to-hip. “He knows what’s gonna happen downstairs.”
Oh, did Ava own him. And when she used that softened tone on him, he lit up with happiness. The feelings of humiliation were still within him, but Ava had the ability to mellow them all to a level where he could handle them more easily and thusly, enjoy them.
“Time to wrap the present,” Ava said sweetly, taking the leg gathers between her fingers as she folded the front of his diaper up and into place – fastening the tapes snuggly at his hips. “Now upsy!”
Ava sat back and held out her hands, Antonio sitting up and into her arms – happy and dry and very affectionate.
“What a good baby you are,” Ava whispered into his ear, patting his naked back before looking up at Naya. “When you give someone more love than they have ever known, you receive all the love they had within that they didn’t even know was there.”
“And what a beautiful way to begin the day,” Naya said, touched by what she had witnessed and what she had witnessed shared between them.
Naya watched with affected emotions as Ava helped Antonio out of the crib and onto his feet, holding his hand and paying as close attention to him as possible, cautious of every waddled, wide step he took. She followed them out into the upstairs hallway and then down the staircase, practically gushing again over how adorable he looked – wearing nothing but his diaper and holding the railing as if he were afraid of falling. Ava stayed right with him, holding his other hand all the way and coaxing him along – telling him to be brave and telling him that everything would be okay.
Ava led him into the TV room – the front room of the first floor. Sitting next to the far side of the sofa was that enormous bean bag chair Ava’s aunt had bought her for her college dorm room. Naya was surprised that the chair had actually held up for how much it had been used since then.
Ava took a seat on the bean bag chair, untying the silk belt of her pink silk robe as Antonio sat on her knees – then lying back into the cradle of her arms. He turned his body towards her slightly and rested the side of his face on her chest as she gently rocked him, whispering sweet maternal things to him. Oh, yes. They had done this before. Naya sat on the sofa and watched all of this with wonderment. She had so many things she wanted to say, to ask, to remark about. But she remained silent – awestruck by how mesmerized Antonio was with Ava.
Lowering the right shoulder of her pink silk robe, Ava removed the pacifier from his mouth as her right breast fell free. Shushing his fussy embarrassment, she placed her right hand behind his head and directed his mouth onto her nipple. Naya watched as Antonio’s lips wrapped around Ava’s right breast. His throat began to make the motions of swallowing as his eyes closed – his lips drawing in more and more her areola. The fingernails of Ava’s right hand began to stroke through his hair. A maternal glow brought a warming hue across her face and her sternum.
“Doesn’t that hurt?” Naya asked, watching her breast being tugged on by his tightened lips.
“No,” Ava whispered with a smile as she gazed down at the little prince nursing on her. “I taught him how to not use his teeth at all. He has bitten me before, but not very often. It really doesn’t hurt all that much when it happens and I’m never upset with him for doing it. He’s just a baby now. Things like that will happen.”
Naya kept watching as his body curled up more tightly into the fetal position. But his mouth remained attached to her, nursing on her in what seemed like a rough manner – though Ava had stated otherwise. Ava’s left hand gently rubbed across his shoulder blades, then down his spine and onto his diapered bottom – patting him gently as she once again rocked him back-n-forth, ever-so-slowly.
“So, is he swallowing … milk?” Naya asked with a whisper, not wanting to disturb the atmosphere here, either.
Ava smiled again, shaking her head no.
“It’s just his reflex to nursing,” Ava explained. “It’s the motions of his mouth that lead to the swallows.”
Antonio’s right hand traveled up to the inside of Ava’s right breast, not really holding it but gently wrapping his fingers around it. Ava closed her eyes, kissing his hair and then resting the side of her face on the top of his head – maternal contentment and affection filling the expressions of her face and body.
Oh, the questions were mounting up inside Naya and she wanted so badly to start asking all of them in rapid-fire delivery. But she resisted, knowing that the moment would be lost with such interruption. Well … maybe one question could be asked, just then.
“What does it feel like?” Naya asked.
“Just a gentle draw, even though nothing is being drawn out,” Ava answered.
“No. I mean, what does it feel like … on the inside?” Naya clarified, wanting to know more about this bond between them.
Ava smiled brightly.
“It feels amazing. I’ve always wanted nothing more than to know that someone loves me, completely and without reservation. Once I knew Tony loved me like that, then I wanted to know how much he loved me with further explanation and greater detail. It’s that kind of attention that steals my heart. It always has,” Ava explained with a calm, softened tone. “Too often in the past, I think I went out of my way to try to be more feminine for the men I loved, so they would take notice to the changes I had made. And in doing so, I expected them to be more masculine. And because of this, a lot of emotions were never felt. But he and I are both able to say more to each other by being silent. It isn’t the words that hold the details, but rather, the beating of our hearts. And I learned to hear them, the moment I stopped talking.”
Ava opened her eyes, touching the side of his face with the fingertips of her left hand.
“It’s okay to ask me things, Naya,” Ava said, tracing his jaw line as he nursed. “He’s off in another place, right now.”
“What’s the bond? I mean, I can see it, but tell me more about it,” Naya said, jumping at the opportunity to free her thoughts of any of the bazillion questions she had.
“The bond is need that grew from want. It’s completion,” Ava explained, placing her left hand on his bare chest and drawing a circle around his heart with her pointer finger.
“I don’t understand,” Naya confessed.
“Antonio would’ve been just fine without having confessed anything to me at all. He would still have been functional. He would still have held a job. He would’ve been fine, but he wouldn’t have been as happy,” Ava answered, smiling with more reflections of the night he admitted everything to her.
“That’s a strange way to find happiness,” Naya stated, wanting to be honest while still being sensitive to her feelings and to his feelings.
“Is it?” Ava asked, with a smile. “And what is it that we want guys to tell us? Don’t we always want to know that they need us? That we are different, in some way, than everyone else that came before us? That we can do something for them no one else could ever have done?”
“That sounds more like want to me than need,” Naya suggested.
“Words are sounds that, if you put them in the right order, can mean certain things,” Ava said softly, drifting between the emotions of the moment and the memories that had already been made. “But heartbeats are sounds that have meaning, each and every time – no matter what order they come in.”
“Okay, that’s a good point. I didn’t consider that and I should have. Feeling something is usually more powerful than just saying sweet things,” Naya said, watching them – both physically and, presumably, emotionally connected. “So, then how does this differ from just holding him and being there for him?”
“It doesn’t differ at all,” Ava answered, Naya quietly getting up from the sofa and kneeling in front of the bean bag chair to get a better of Antonio as Ava began stroking his hair back from his forehead.
He opened his eyes and looked up at Ava with a helpless and lost expression in his irises, but a gaze – nonetheless – of elated sentiment.
“Shhhh. It’s okay, Tony. Mommy’s gotcha,” Ava whispered to him, her right forearm holding his torso against her as her left hand traveled back down between his legs onto his diapered bottom – patting him gently.
Even the gazes Ava and Antonio shared were full of this connection they possessed with each other. And it was very mesmerizingly intriguing to Naya, not that she wanted to know what it felt like – just to understand why Ava was so taken in by it all. Naya had known Ava for a long time and if Ava felt so deeply and so strongly about this, then it had to be something more than just remarkable and fulfilling. It had to be something … dynamic.
So Naya stopped asking questions, for the moment at least. And she studied the absolute control Ava had over Antonio – all with her softened voice, the care of her hands and the care of her heart. Guys just didn’t submit this fully, this entirely. At least not very often, anyway. And when they did lower their guards, there was usually a reason that benefited them.
Ava worked Antonio down onto his back, sliding herself out from underneath him as her fingertips closed his eyelids – then returning the pacifier to his mouth before covering him with the soft blanket that was draped over the near arm of the sofa.
Lying there in nothing but his diaper, Antonio gently settled into the bean bag chair – his head tilting to the side.
“Back to sleep, baby,” Ava whispered softly as she gently caressed the side of his face for a moment before leaning back.
Ava smiled brightly, watching Antonio falling asleep again, so easily and so effortlessly abiding by her gentle instructions. Then she and Naya quietly stood up.
“You want another cup of coffee?” Ava asked.
“Yeah,” Naya said, trying not to laugh. “Another cup of coffee would be really good about right now.”
Naya watched Antonio sleeping, his chest rising and lowering evenly as he drifted away.
“He really is adorable like this,” Naya confessed, Ava not responding but rather, gazing down at him with a maternal glow about her. “But may I ask what the deal is with diaper?”
Naya kept a cautious tone to her words as she had returned to asking questions. She truly didn’t want to offend her BFF as this obviously was something Ava felt very deeply. But still, she wanted to understand it more – even if never getting beyond the understanding on a fundamental level.
Ava smiled even more brightly, taking Naya’s hand and leading her back to the kitchen.
“As girls we can probably survive just on emotions alone, if we needed to,” Ava said, getting the two coffee cups from the kitchen table and walking over to the coffee machine. “Though without touch and certain other … stimulations, we wouldn’t be nearly as happy. But the physical will never be as good if the emotional isn’t felt first, agreed?”
“Agreed,” Naya said, getting the creamer from the fridge again.
“Well,” Ava began, pausing to pour two more cups of coffee before picking up her cup and turning around to look back into the TV room at Antonio. “Guys need the physical a lot sooner that we do. The diaper seems like simple dress-up to us, but to him, there’s a need for it. No, he can make it to toilet just fine … if I allow him to. But right now, he feels helpless inside and even when I’m not holding him, that diaper is. I see it as his physical reminder. For me, it’s all about purpose. And it’s about what I can give him.”
“So what does he give you in return?” Naya asked pouring sugar into her cup and then going to the fridge for the creamer. “Purpose, yes. But what’s the hook? … in your own words, I mean. You’ve shown me what the hook is. But now, tell me how it makes you feel. What makes you cradle him and care for him with such affection?”
“The same thing that has always hooked me about him … Tony is the first guy I have ever known who has been comfortable enough to not just lower his guard in front of me and allow himself to be weak, but also, to allow me to rebuild him,” Ava said with a devilish grin. “How many times have you looked at a guy and seen past the obvious flaws he wore on his outsides? Yet he saw his flaws as medals. And how many times have you wished you could just change a few things about him, to improve him so he wouldn’t come off as such a project?”
“Ava, sweetie. I think this whole Mommy thing is going to your head a bit too much,” Naya said, sipping from her cup and turning around to look back in the TV room at the sleeping Antonio. “You and I both know that all men are projects. And we will never have an opportunity to change them the way we want them to be.”
“Imagine if you actually did have that opportunity,” Ava replied, her devilish grin growing even brighter as she sipped from her cup – Naya’s eyes growing big-n-wide as she suddenly realized what Ava, in fact, did get out of it.
“So this whole thing is about gaining a little power over him?” Naya asked, beginning to find an even greater interest all of the sudden.
“No, that’s not the whole thing about it. But it’s certainly one of the personal benefits of it for me. Antonio is very obedient when he’s helpless,” Ava said, nibbling on her lower lip as she stared at the floor for a second before continuing. “I guess the best way to state it is: It’s about giving each other what we both need and getting from each other what we both want. I know I said that before, but it bears repeating because it’s at the heart of the matter.”
They watched as Antonio shifted ever-so-slightly in position, stretching his back a bit but never waking up. And as he came back to a stilled comfort, Naya softly gushed. There was a charm about it, albeit an uncommon charm in a situation where she wouldn’t have expected it. But, little by little, Naya was coming to understand how perfect it was for the natures of Ava and him.
Ava opened the same cupboards where she got the coffee cups from and reached into the back corner, taking out three little half-sized baby bottles. Each had a different cap color: white, brown and dark brown. She fully filled two of them with milk and the third one half-full with milk. Then she put them all in the microwave and heated them up for 30 seconds.
Antonio had always been a softie. He had always backed down about everything when Ava posed him with a challenge. And she always got her way, whether he gave in right away or whether she had to manipulate him into thinking what he wanted was actually the same thing she wanted. This applied everywhere and with everything, from movies they watched to purchases they made.
The microwave dinged and Ava got the bottles of milk out, setting them in a row on the counter. With a sly grin, she dipped her pinkie finger in all of them – testing the temperature.
“Oh, you really are hooked by all of this, aren’t you?” Naya asked rhetorically, Ava sticking her pinkie finger in her mouth to lick the milk off it.
Screwing the white cap and rubber nipple on the first bottle of milk, Ava set it aside – Naya already envisioning what was going to happen. Then Ava went to the fridge and got out the chocolate syrup, squeezing a bit into the full second bottle and the half-full third bottle. She screwed the brown cap and rubber nipple on the second bottle and then poured some of the coffee from her cup into the third bottle, filling it full and screwing the dark brown cap and rubber nipple on it. Pinching the rubber nipples of the brown and dark brown capped bottles, she picked them up, turned around and began to shake them in her hands.
“So explain to me what you two do when you do … this,” Naya said, watching Ava as she shook up the two bottles in her hands.
Ava opened the top drawer at the end of the kitchen counter, taking out a tea towel. Then she picked up the first baby bottle as well.
“Follow me. I’ll show you,” Ava said, walking back into the TV room – Naya following with both of their cups of coffee.
Staying as quiet as they could as to not awaken him, Ava set the baby bottles and the tea towel on the coffee table – Naya setting the mugs down and helping her to slide the coffee table away from the front of the sofa. Getting down on her knees, Ava reached underneath the sofa, Naya mesmerized with the sight of the sleeping Antonio. Ava pulled out a yoga mat from under the sofa and unfolded it, quietly sliding it across the TV room rug – to the other side of the room where she put it directly in a patch of the rug that was being warmed by the sunshine coming in from the front window.
Naya glanced back at Ava, trying to figure out what the girl was doing. Was this what they did, Antonio sleeping in the bean bag chair while Ava did yoga in the morning sunlight? Next, Ava got a small pillow from the sofa and put it at the head of the yoga mat. Then she carefully walked over to Antonio and knelt in front of him, taking the blanket off him and handing it to Naya – motioning for her to lay it on top of yoga mat.
Antonio fidgeted for a moment and then calmly stirred out of sleep, Ava being right there beside him – the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes.
“Hello, little guy,” Ava whispered sweetly, touching the side of his face and nurturing him awake with her tender strokes. “You’re a sleepy baby this morning, aren’t you?”
Antonio didn’t respond, not even to nod. Instead, he simply lied there and gazed up at her with elation in his eyes – hardly capable anymore of remembering what it was like to wake up next to her with a secret burdening his heart. Secrets no longer applied between them.
And, my how Ava glowed, the morning sunlight beginning to illuminate the TV room – but no place more so than in front of that window on the yoga mat, pillow and blanket. Naya sat alongside the yoga mat, not wanting to disturb the moment but being as curious as could be as to what the makeshift bedding was all about. Luckily, she wouldn’t have to wait much longer to find out.
“Bottles, baby. Bottles,” Ava said, Antonio lifting his head right away and looking over to the yoga mat – then beginning to sit up with Ava’s assistance. “That’s a good boy. Bottles. Come with Mommy.”
Antonio leaned forward and got down on the floor, onto his hands and knees.
“Follow Mommy,” Ava said softly as she began walking towards the yoga mat, Antonio crawling after her – slowly and with a crinkly sway to his diapered hips.
Naya gushed at him again, her smile of adoration beaming as brightly as the sunlight pouring in through the window. Oh, how adorable he was, waddling his crawl along and following Ava like he was her puppy dog.
Crawling onto the blanket on the yoga mat, he lied down on his back – putting his head on the pillow and parting his thighs, as if he had done this many times before. Ava got the baby bottles from the coffee table and took a seat next to the yoga mat, opposite from Naya. She placed her left fingernail on his bare chest and drew a circle around his heart, her left hand then trailing down the front of his torso and onto his diapered front. Patting him gently between his legs, she slipped the rubber nipple of his pacifier out of his mouth – putting the rubber nipple of the first baby bottle into his lips – the one with the white cap, filled with straight warm milk.
Closing his eyes, he tightened his lips around the nipple and began to draw from it, Ava continuing to gently pat his diapered front as he nursed.
“He has an oral fixation, doesn’t he?” Naya asked softly, watching them.
“Oh my, yes,” Ava answered with a gentle laugh, while still patting his diapered front. “He does a lot of things very well with his mouth. And no matter what it is, he always makes me happy.”
Still being cautious as to not disrupt the sweet moment, Naya moved the conversation in the direction of the next obvious question.
“So … how does this work for … sex?” Naya asked gingerly.
“Just fine. I’ve got girl parts. He’s got boy parts. And he fits me perfectly,” Ava answered with a devilish grin, Naya crossing her eyes at her best friend’s answer. “Though he’s Mommy’s little boy, he can always be Mommy’s Big Boy … whenever Mommy wants him to.”
Naya equaled Ava’s devilish grin with her own.
“You mean … he’s submissive all the time?” Naya asked, seeing Antonio fidgeting ever so slightly.
“Oh my, yes. But he’s always a … hard little worker for me,” Ava said, her voice taking on a slightly sexual tone while still possessing the nurture. “And I can’t begin to explain how absolutely amazing it is to not only possess control of him, but also of his mind and of his actions.”
Ava paused to look down at him, her gentle pats to his diapered front turning into a solid cupping and a pressed rub. As she spoke about her sex life, she was beginning to feel it.
“It’s intoxicating to be in control when lying beneath him – even when I’m not physically in control,” Ava said, nibbling her lower lip at the thought. “He listens to me and he wants to know exactly what I like – so he can give me exactly what I want. He remembers and he obeys.”
“Mmm. How wonderful that must feel,” Naya said, smiling sweetly as she looked down at Antonio who was still nursing away on that first bottle. “Has that always been the case with him?”
“Well … he’s always been very accommodating to me, but before this little secret of his came out, sex was much different. Don’t get me wrong. It was still good … very good. But how many times have you had sex where you just weren’t getting as much enjoyment out of it as you knew you could, but you didn’t want to say anything to the guy because you didn’t want to upset him?” Ava asked.
“Oh my God. That’s the story of my entire sex life,” Naya admitted, burying her face in her hands.
“Now, imagine that you actually could tell a guy how you like to feel it and that you actually could show him the movements to make that feel the best for you. AND … that he would not only listen, but then actually do what you showed him how to do?” Ava asked, Naya parting her fingers and looking at Ava. “You’d not only cum every time and never have to fake it, but you’d feel the most amazing orgasms of your life. Wouldn’t you? You know, the ones that linger on for minutes afterwards and the ones you can’t tease enough with your own fingers.”
“Wow,” Naya said, catching her own breath at the thought of it. “And I thought I was going to have a difficult time coming to terms with what you were going tell me this morning.”
“And it just keeps getting better,” Ava whispered with a lustful breathiness. “You want a reason for the hook? There it is. That’s what we do. We just keep getting better.”
“But tell me how good it was to start,” Naya said, raising an eyebrow. “Because it sounds like the two you hit the ground running. Or maybe you ran and he crawled.”
Ava laughed softly, her left palm now pressing firmly into the front of his diaper.
“The first night I babied him I will never forget,” Ava recalled with a delighted grin. “He made dinner for me that night, saying that he wanted to show me the secret. He had already made the confession and now he wanted to show it to me so I could actually see it.”
With an expert-quickness, she took the first bottle away from his mouth and inserted the rubber nipple of the second one between his lips – all before he sucked in any air.
“Chocolate milk,” Naya said, referencing the contents of the second baby bottle – the one with the brown cap.
“Just keep watching what happens,” Ava said, she and Naya keeping an eye on him as she continued the reflection. “He was so nervous the whole time, though he wined-n-dined me wonderfully … like the perfect little gentleman. But he drank quite a bit of wine at that dinner, trying to take the edge off his nerves.”
“Aww,” Naya said sweetly, feeling bad for Antonio.
“And the whole time, there was a small cardboard box sitting on the coffee table. Curiosity was absolutely killing me, but I refused to ask what was in the box because I wanted him to bring it up. So I didn’t even broach the subject of the secret, wanting him to start that discussion,” Ava recalled. “But he never did. He was just too scared to show it to me. This was the first time I ever saw fear in his eyes and I knew that he wanted to show me, but I also knew that he couldn’t bring himself to do.”
“So I would assume you gave him a helpful nudge?” Naya asked with a laugh.
“And you would assume correctly,” Ava answered, laughing as well. “After dinner, I took him by the hand and led him into the TV room – asking him to pick up the box and follow me. And like a puppy dog, he did. I sat down on this very spot on the rug in the TV room.”
Ava pointed to where Antonio was laying.
“This is the only place in the whole house where the rays of the morning sun and of the evening sun both reach, just 12 hours apart, of course. And from two different windows – one on either side of this room,” Ava explained, pointing to the two windows. “It was right here that we sat down and I opened the box and saw what was inside it.”
Antonio opened his eyes, teary as they were as he looked up at her.
“And that’s why we always return to this very spot on the rug – twice a day. Isn’t it, baby?” Ava asked Antonio with such a maternal tone to her voice that his tummy became fluttered instantly.
Naya watched as Ava not only captured his attention but directed it fully to her. And from the glassy gaze in his eyes, Naya got the impression that he saw nothing else but her face and heard nothing else but her sweet, whispering voice.
“I don’t want you feeling anything else today other than exactly what you’re feeling right now,” Ava whispered to him, her left hand reaching inside the front of his diaper and grasping the stiffness she found – Antonio breathing in deeply through his nose and concentrating on nursing from the bottle. “That’s a good boy. You stay just the way you are for Mommy.”
Ava took her hand out of the front of his diaper, then patting him between his legs – a devilish look coming across her irises.
“You just keep being a good boy and Mommy will see what she can do about that a bit later,” Ava said, smiling brightly.
“Oh for goodness sake, Ava. Tell me what was in the box already!” Naya insisted, practically losing her mind as Ava had cut off the reflection right at the good part – to tease Antonio.
“Inside the box, there was a diaper … a pacifier … a onesie … a baby bottle … a Dr. Seuss book … and a dirty book,” Ava explained, returning to her reflection. “So I diapered him and dressed him, right here on this spot of the rug. I filled the bottle and held him as he nursed from it. I read the Dr. Seuss book to him until he fell asleep. Then I read the dirty book to myself until I got tired and went to sleep. And the next morning, we …”
Ava cut herself off again, this time in mid-sentence as she and Antonio gazed the reflection into each other’s eyes. They both remembered it well.
“You … what? What did you do?” Naya asked, seeing Ava’s hand on his diapered front – no longer patting him gently but caressing him a bit more intently. “Oh.”
Naya smiled, watching Ava take the empty second bottle from his lips and replacing it with the third one – the one with the dark brown cap, filled with the coffee and chocolate milk mix.
Ava motioned Naya to hold the bottle in his mouth. Naya did so as she watched Ava reposition herself between his parted legs, blocking the sun from shining on him and directing both of his hands down to the front of his diaper.
“You see, Naya, his mind is all jumbled up at this point. And he’ll travel in and out of regression, bouncing back-n-forth between the sweet-n-innocent and the horny-n-willing. But he knows that Mommy makes all the decisions. Besides, his biggest challenge isn’t about submitting to me.”
“What do you mean?” Naya said, asking honestly but with a twinge of understanding already of what Ava was getting at.
“His biggest challenge is to figure out what to do with his hands. He can never remember to keep them out of the way when they need to be gone. And he doesn’t understand when the appropriate moments arise when he needs to be touching me … or to be touching himself for my viewing pleasure,” Ava said, holding her hand over top of his hands and making him massage himself as she stopped talking about him and started talking to him. “That’s right. That’s a good boy. Show Mommy exactly what she taught you to do.”
Naya watched with intrigue as Antonio’s face blushed a deep shade of red. He was being made to stimulate himself, right in front of Ava and Naya. And helplessly, he could do nothing about. Submission was a tricky little mind game when it danced on the edge of full regression.
Ava handed his pacifier to her, Naya taking the pacifier but looking back at Ava with confusion. Then, the sound of air being drawn in suddenly came from Antonio’s lips as he had finished the contents of the third bottle. Naya plunked the pacifier in his mouth as she took the rubber nipple of the baby bottle away from his lips. Ava reached over to the coffee table and grabbed the tea towel, placing it over her left shoulder as she leaned forward. Then placing her hands behind his shoulders, she sat him up into her embrace – his hands now cupping his diapered front as he was made to sit on his fingers. She pressed his torso against the front of her body, leaning the side of his face onto the tea towel and beginning to pat the middle of his back.
“Oh, sweetheart. I know. If Mommy would let you put your hands inside your diaper, then all these confusing feelings would go away,” Ava said with teasing sweetness, patting his back and gently rocking him side-to-side. “But if Mommy lets you do that, you know what will happen. Don’t you? Yes, you’ll make a sticky mess of yourself. We can’t have you doing that – not when we have a dear friend visiting us.”
And while the intensity of what he was feeling didn’t diminish, his hope of completion did. His shoulders shrunk down as he succumbed to being putty in her hands again, her helpless little boy toy. Closing his eyes, he pushed the pacifier forward in his mouth, clenching the rubber nipple with his teeth so it didn’t fall out and breathing deeply until he burped. And when he finally burped, he breathed easily – as if the only bit of discomfort in his body had just left.
Easing him back to his lay on the blanket and yoga mat, Ava put his hands on either side of his body and pushed the pacifier back into his mouth.
“Shhhhhhhhhh,” she softly shushed him, placing her right pointer finger on his bare chest and drawing a circle around his heart. “Mommy’s gonna go get little birdie. Be a good baby until Mommy gets back?”
Antonio nodded shyly, nursing on his pacifier as Naya gathered up the empty baby bottles and followed Ava back out into the kitchen.
“What did that mean when you told him that you were gonna get little birdie?” Naya asked, setting the empty baby bottles in the sink.
“Well, he is actually the little birdie,” Ava answered, opening the drawers under the sink and getting out a small hand basin, setting the basin in the sink and turning on the faucet when she stood up. “But he understood what I meant.”
“Huh?” Naya asked, watching Ava poured a bit of dish soap into the basin – then directing the faucet over top of the basin to fill it when the water got hot.
“I’m going to bathe him,” Ava explained, Naya still showing confusion. “… in a bird bath fashion …. So he will be the little birdie.”
“Oh!” Naya said, suddenly understanding and covering her face with embarrassment for having been slow on the uptake. “You mean you’re gonna bathe him in there?”
“Yep,” Ava said, turning the hot water off and sticking her finger in it to test for temperature.
But the water was slightly too hot to wash him with. So Ava got a few ice cubes from the freezer and put them into the basin, then walking Naya back over to the entryway between the kitchen and the TV room.
“Now watch,” Ava whispered to Naya as they eyed up Antonio, lying on that blanket and yoga mat in the sunshine and fidgeting something fierce.
“What’s wrong with him?” Naya whispered back.
“He has to pee,” Ava answered. “And he’ll give up the fight any second now. He always does.”
“Wow. That was quick,” Naya remarked.
“For as much as he just drank and as quickly as he drank it, yeah. It doesn’t take him long. Annnnnnnd…,” Ava said as Antonio shook for a moment and then went limp. “… there it is.”
“You know him like the back of your hand,” Naya stated.
“Yeah. Pretty much,” Ava agreed, watching Antonio limpen some more as she nibbled her lower lip in reflection. “After that first night of babying him, the control I suddenly had over him was obvious right away. And it wasn’t just about simple choices. It was about everything in our lives. No, Tony has never been a push-over. And he truly is still functional through all of this.”
“But now he functions for you,” Naya said, finally piecing it together fully. “And now, more than ever before, he needs you.”
“Exactly,” Ava said, pointing to the hallway. “Get me a towel, another diaper, the wipes and powder from the hallway closet.”
Naya went to hallway closet and made an armful of the items and then returned to the entryway, Ava standing there while holding the basin of soapy water and a washcloth. The ice cubes had melted in the basin and had cooled the water to a less-scolding temperature. One last reflection preceded their return to Antonio’s side.
“Any girl wants a guy to not only need her, but also to not be able to live without her. And suddenly, Tony’s secret was completely out. I naturally assumed the Mommy role and he became my ever-obedient little Baby Boy. But it isn’t role playing to us. I don’t think it ever was,” Ava said.
“How do you know?” Naya asked, looking at the diaper in her arms and smirking a bit.
“Because he knows that I don’t ever tease him without giving him approval later on. And because of this, it returns to need over want,” Ava answered. “He knows that if he is obedient, he will get what he wants. There are no temper tantrums or babbling or anything like that. It’s a natural part of both of us.”
Ava smiled brightly as one final thought came to mind.
“We would continue to explore the depths of this connection, this bond. The hook. And it would continue to become a bigger and bigger part of our lives. But it has never consumed our ability to do anything and it has never overtaken our lifestyle as a whole. And this is why it can remain a constant without any effort,” Ava replied.
“So this is all you do?” Naya asked. “The bathing, the diapering, the bottle feeding and the sweet whispers?”
“Oh my goodness, no,” Ava said with a laugh. “This was just the beginning of the morning routine.”
They walked across the TV room, Ava kneeling on one side of Antonio and setting down the basin of soapy water. Naya knelt on his other side, setting the towel and other items down.
“Now,” Ava said, unfastening the tapes at Antonio’s hips. “Show Naya what a good baby you are for Mommy.”
Ava lowered the front of his diaper, Naya’s eyes growing big-n-wide at the sight of his stiffness.
“Morning wood?” Naya asked with a sly smile.….. Boy Toy …….. Boy Toy 2 …… Boy Toy 3 …… Boy Toy 4 …… Boy Toy 5 . Girl Power …. Girl Power 2 .. Girl Power 3 . Girl Power 4 Girl Power 5 The BabySitter Crush