Confessions In the MoonLight

Zeke & Lily - LifeTimeTaken from:

Zeke & Lily (Book Ten):  For A LifeTime

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here is a little story about memories, about journeys and about destinations – when the bow finally breaks.


Confessions In the MoonLight

Lily stared out the bathroom window from her seat on the toilet.  It was 3 am on a chilly October night.  From what she could see out the window, the night time Lancaster sky was crisp and clear – allowing the stars and moonlight to shine brighter.  She loved to look up at the stars each night, but recently she hadn’t done that very much.  Currently, it would’ve taken a lot of physical effort to get up from that toilet and waddle over to the bathroom window.  And for once, she didn’t waddle because of wearing a diaper.  That was the whole reason she was sitting on the toilet at such a late hour.  And her late-night pees were necessary these days.  Lily was pregnant and she was due any day now.

She was really happy that the baby would soon arrive.  Pregnancy had been a rewarding experience and something she wanted to do once in her life.  But its physical toll on her was tremendous.  Doctors warned her, even before she got pregnant, of how high-risk her pregnancy would be.  But Lily was a determined little soul.  And she proved how determination could overcome any challenge faced in life.

Life, itself, had changed tremendously for her in the past three years.  And as she sat there, she thought back to where she was before she met Zeke online – both literally as she used to keep a small apartment on Lime Street and figuratively as she single and didn’t have much going on otherwise with matters of the heart.  But their time with each other, as a Daddy-n-BabyGirl and as a husband & wife, had drawn their souls together.  They were the completion of one another, as if life had suddenly begun again when they met.  And finally, Lily found permanency.

Often in her past, she pulled the lever and reset her life, determined as always to find her happiness, no matter what the cost.  But those were emotions of the past only.  Life had finally shown Lily her place in this world, by Zeke’s side – the one place she knew that only she belonged and only she was right for.

The adventures they had gone on together took them all over Lancaster County, to Florida, to the Bahamas, to the near-afterlife and back.  And though Lily hadn’t ever been a night owl before, she found herself embracing the solace and quietness of the stars quite a lot now.

Sitting there on the toilet, she lifted her left leg up and placed her ankle on her right thigh to rub the sole of her foot.  Some days, she forgot what her feet looked like.  And finding a comfortable position to rub them while pregnant was an impossible task, as she discovered.  Thank God for Zeke’s willingness to massage her whole body when she begged him.  Chuckling softly, she thought of all of her different body parts that had ached her, repeatedly, these past nine months.  Zeke rubbed them all and jokingly asked her if there was any body part that didn’t hurt.  Chuckling again, she remembered her honest response of Nope.  Everything hurts, Daddy!

Zeke had the ability to make her laugh, even when she wanted and needed to cry.  He made her smile, even when she wanted and needed to frown.  It didn’t matter where they were or what they were doing.  When she needed cheering up, her Daddy always came through for her. 

Thinking back on their journey together, she recalled how much of it came in the wee early hours – particularly their numerous late-night Wal-Mart excursions.  She recalled their first late-trip to The Mart that very night she spent with him in this apartment.

Taking trips was always a thrill.  They had gone shopping and out to late night diners in the wee hours of the morning before, and every time they made these trips, they got a little more “daring”.  Lily didn’t take her love for being a baby out into public.  She didn’t want to do that. Neither did Zeke.  But they would sometimes test the limits and each time, they would add a little more.

On this trip, Lily wasn’t wearing anything over her diaper, just a button-down shirt.  It was long enough to go mid-way down her legs, but the danger of discovery was still there.  It was a thrill to do it, yet still subtle enough to not give it away.  During the ride to Wal-Mart, she sat there, deciding what she wanted Zeke to buy her – another bit of fun she always enjoyed.  She could see the baby section clearly in her mind and she was going through the contents of each shelf.

Zeke parked at the far end and they walked the length of the parking lot to the entrance.  He held onto her hand and she was almost pulling him as she skipped her way along, taking in the fresh air brought about by the recent-fallen rain.  Her diaper was crinkling with every stride she took.  She had begun the thrill.

They got to the entrance and she settled down as they walked in.  At the last second, she remembered to take the pacifier out of her mouth and drop it into the shirt pocket.  Oh my!  That would’ve been an embarrassing mistake!

“Welcome to Wal-Mart,” said the greeter.

“Thank you,” said Zeke as Lily gave the greeter a playful finger-wiggling wave.

They made their way to the baby section, and then everything became serious business to her.  She walked each aisle with a deliberately slow stride, inspecting each shelf, searching for that perfect crib toy.  It was out there, and she was determined to find it.  Even when in little mode, Lily was always determined.

Zeke stood back and watched with an almost tell-tale grin on his face.  With every “little” shopping spree she went on, she always bought another pacifier.  In her mind, she could never have enough of those.  And she always bought another stuffed animal.  After all, what good is a crib if it isn’t packed full of stuffed animals.  So, she picked a green pacifier with a smiling fish on it and an earthworm, striped with every color of the rainbow.

Now, that she had those selections out of the way, she could finally focus on the new crib toy.  She already had the sheets she liked, an activity toy when she couldn’t sleep, a baby alarm clock that played nursery rhymes when it went off, a little book made of cloth she could read and so many other things that made her crib time restful and fun.

Then the answer dawned on her.  She didn’t want another toy for the inside of her crib.  She wanted a toy for the outside of her crib, or better yet … a toy to go above her crib!  A mobile!  That was what she wanted!  She turned around to Zeke with a look of exhilaration.

“It looks like you made up your mind.  You’re very excited, Princess,” he said as she grabbed his hand and took him over to the crib section. 

She began looking through the crib accessories until she found the mobile.  She examined every single one until she found the perfect mobile.  Pointing to the box on the top shelf, she started jumping up and down.

“That one, right there?” asked Zeke as he pointed to a mobile that had butterflies, fish, trees and flowers on it.

He took it down off the shelf, and handed it to her.  She held the box up and studied the picture of the mobile on the front.  Her eyes were big and wide.  Zeke stood behind her and read the name on the box.

“Countryside Mobile,” he said as he noticed she was pinching her knees together.  Discreetly, he lifted up the back of her shirt and felt the seat of her diaper.  It was soaked.  She was so excited by this mobile that she wet her diaper.

“Are you ready to go?” asked Zeke with a syrupy-thick Daddy Voice.

She nodded enthusiastically, but never took her eyes off the box.  They walked up to the checkout, and Zeke sighed.  As usual, there was only one checkout lane open in the entire Wal-Mart, though there were 51 other registers available.  They stood behind three other customers, which, on the Wal-Mart checkout time conversion chart, meant they would be waiting approximately 12-15 minutes.

Coming out of the reflection, Lily smiled at the memory of that first trip.  It seemed so long ago, back when they were still new to each other, back before a lot of hardship set in and before their trip to the Bahamas.  It was a wonderful trip, but it ended early because she had an attack of an illness that she had kept from him.

Lily gritted her teeth.  That stupid friggin’ illness!  It had ruined so many things for her in life.  And she was certain it would also be the end of her relationship with Zeke, should he ever find out.  But, as she did find out, it wasn’t the end of them at all.  Rather, the beginning of something she never dreamed possible.

But it wouldn’t be until the very moment that she confessed to him how sick she truly was that she would receive not only the greatest display of his love for her, but also his promise to care for, no matter what happened.

She recalled the day she told him.  And it began for her in a rather strange manner:

Lily slowly opened her eyes and blinked a few times.  She lay still, looking at the overhead light in the ceiling above her.  On her left was a window, letting sunlight into the room through its venetian blinds.  She lifted her head slightly, looking up at the television on the wall in front of her and the broadcast of ESPN that was playing.

She sat up very slowly and looked around the room.  She was back in Lancaster in the hospital, and the hospital bed she lay in was loaded with flowers and cards at her feet.  She tried to shift her legs, but had trouble moving them.  Attached to her right arm was an IV.  She had heart monitor pads on her chest and her temples.  The hospital bracelet on her right wrist read “L. Paddington”.

Looking down at the not-so-lovely hospital gown she was wearing, she rested her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes.  Though relieved she was alive, she had such confusion.  No one was in the room and the only noises she heard were the television, the heart monitor next to her and random sounds from the hallway.

Just then, the toilet in her room’s bathroom flushed.  Lily looked at the bathroom door and slowly sat up again, feeling the pain of movement.  She watched the door intently as the sound of water being run in the bathroom sink was heard, followed by the paper towel dispenser.

Then all at once, the bathroom door opened and out stepped Zeke.  The look of strain on his face told the tale of what he must have been feeling.  He looked like he hadn’t slept for days and hadn’t eaten for a while.  He walked out of the bathroom and his head slowly turned towards Lily.

Uncertain what reaction to expect from him, Lily found herself trying to hold back excitement so extreme that she would have jumped out of the bed and into his arms if she were strong enough.  But she just sat there and nervously nibbled her bottom lip.

It took a moment for Zeke to register that she had awakened from her coma-like state.  He looked at her blankly and then his face lit up as he briskly walked around to the left side of the bed to embrace her gently, but with enough passion to let her know he was happy to see her conscious.  From within his hug, she could feel his rapidly-beating heart.  It pounded with a fervor that startled her.

He released the embrace and she took his face in her hands.  Now she could see more clearly that his eyes were stained red.  The signs of duress had left marks down his cheeks and down his neck.  She ran her fingers through his hair, scraping his scalp as he placed his hand behind her head and kissed her deeply.  He lowered her down onto the bed and her head to the pillow as he continued kissing her.  She wrapped her arms around him, taking his kiss in even deeper.

She had survived, but what had she survived exactly?  Her mind was filled with so many questions, but she would wait to ask them.  Right now, she felt comfortable in his arms.  It was as if they hadn’t seen each other in weeks.  They remained in that position for several minutes. Neither spoke a word.  Words weren’t needed, not yet.

Making a routine check of the room, a nurse walked in and gasped.  Zeke sat up to reveal to the nurse that Lily was indeed conscious.

“She woke up?” the nurse asked with a smile.

Zeke nodded.

“I’ll contact her doctor,” the nurse said, quickly exiting the room.

Zeke returned his attention to Lily.

“You look tired?” she remarked, tracing the features on his face.  “I have a million questions to ask, but before I do…”

She paused for a moment to clear the lump in her throat.  The moment of truth had arrived.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was sick,” Lily said as her eyes welled up, expecting Zeke to tell her off and leave.  “I know I should’ve told you and that I should’ve trusted you, but I was so scared.  So very scared that you would leave me.”

She began to lose her composure.

“If I could go back and convince myself to have told you earlier, I would,” she struggled to say.  “But I can’t, and I’m so sorry I didn’t.”

“Shh, shh, shh,” Zeke whispered quietly as he delicately wiped the tears from her eyes.  “It’s okay.  I understand why you didn’t tell me.  It wasn’t an easy thing to tell someone.  You don’t need to feel sorry, and you don’t need to worry about me leaving.  I’m not going anywhere.  I’m staying right here.  I’ll take care of you, BabyGirl.”

Lily wiped tears from her eyes as she came out of that reflection.  She remembered so vividly how her heart pounded with a fury that made it feel like she was having a heart-attack.  That was one moment in her entire life that, above and beyond all others, she was happy to have been wrong.  Then her mind drifted back to their time in Bahamas and she lifted an eyebrow with the sudden thought of perhaps returning to Paradise Island and finishing the dream vacation that ended abruptly.

But with one swift kick from her unborn daughter, Lily returned to the reality of the moment.  She grimaced with pain from the kick before starting to pee again.

“Thank you, Lucy,” Lily said, patting her midsection.

Going back to the Bahamas would have to wait for now.  Lily and Zeke were about to become parents.  But she didn’t always think that that would be the case.  Early on in their relationship, they didn’t have a lot of sex.  And she thought at one point he didn’t find her attractive. 

Picking up her journal from last year, she flipped to the final entry she had made in it.  It was a journal she kept for a short time as her treatments were adjusted and administered to get her illness under control.  This prevented her from doing a lot for a while.  A few small trips and repeated visits to the hospital became her lifestyle for that time.  And throughout it, she kept a journal to remember the struggles she had overcome.

Looking at that final entry, she silently read:

October 30th

 Dear Diary,

 If you had told me just one day ago that right now I would feel the way that I do and that I would see the future as I now do, I would’ve said you were crazy.  But then again, one day ago I wouldn’t have known what would happen just by asking Zeke a simple, yet very important question.

And believe me: Even with my crazy imagination, I couldn’t have possibly imagined what happened to me today.  I couldn’t have predicted it to save my life. But I’ve learned an important lesson about myself and about my apprehensions and fears.  I also learned how my words can affect others, especially those I love and those who love me.

Smiling, she shifted on the toilet and skipped ahead in the journal to the good part, remembering when she wrote this entry:

“Your sister informed me that you struggled all day long to make a very important decision.  Is this right?”  Daddy said to me today.

I lowered my head in shame, nodding.  I had so many things to say, but didn’t dare say a word.  He had placed the pacifier in my mouth right before he started talking to me.  This meant he had something to say and he needed me to listen, not speak.  So I abided by Daddy’s ‘pacifier rule’.

“She also told me that you have been struggling with this for a little while now.  Is that right?” he asked me.

I nodded again.

“Lily, I love you.  Not just as your Daddy, but as your partner in life.  And yes, marriage does need to come first before we do anything else,” he said, not knowing he had sunken my heart.

I closed my eyes as tears began to stream down my cheeks.  My love for him ran so deep within me that I didn’t think anything could ever actually come between us.  I reached up and touched his left shoulder with my hand.

He wasn’t wearing a shirt.  This seemed strange.  He never went bare-chested.

“But … I can’t wait any longer either,” he whispered in my ear.

I opened my eyes, uncertain of what I just heard him say.  His left hand crossed over my body and unfastened the diaper tapes on my right hip.  He wrapped his right forearm across my shoulders.  I reached up and touched my neck, pushing my pigtail out of the way.  There was such a feeling of passion that had suddenly overtaken my senses.  Did he really feel the same way as I did?

And I felt butterflies in my tummy like so many times before as I lied in my crib for a nap or at night and fantasized about this moment.  I had envisioned what it would be like so intensely I even imagined what it would feel like, how his touch to different parts of my body would cause my heart to beat faster and my skin to tingle.

Every little fantasy in my little mind was coming true.  The man I loved with all of my soul had confessed his love to me just the same and had begun kissing the back of my neck where the skin was very tender.  The little pecks from his lips were even gentler than his fingertips during a diaper change or when he bathed me.

I shuddered at his caressing touch and felt me peach getting wet.  (Giggle. Daddy says I am to call it “my peach”.)  Every inch of my body had become so sensitive and it appeared he intended to explore all of me.

His left hand reached up and unbuttoned the two buttons of my shirt.  (Well, it was his shirt actually.)  His right hand trailed down my chest and belly as it continued downward into my diaper.  His fingers reached my outer lips and gently spread them.  He lightly massaged my labia before running his finger over my slickened opening.

With each passing second, I twitched more and more.  I delicately whimpered quickly and then stopped the noise.  I clenched my pacifier nipple with my teeth, preventing it from falling out until he gave me permission to take it out.  Ooo, I just wanted him inside me then.  No more waiting.  No more teasing, please?

Oh yes.  I was waiting for his permission for everything.  You see, within my fantasies, I was submissive.  I mean totally submissive.  In my most erotic thoughts, I even waited for his permission to react to what he was doing to me and I dared not show I enjoyed it until I was allowed.

Just the thought of being that submissive made me very wet and I ached for his fingers to enter me.  I wanted to beg, but remained quiet, instead to enjoy every moment as it built up my hunger for what I hoped would …… come. 

His method was more tantalizing than I envisioned and for once, I longed to be tortured by his slow burn, kept in the moment with no idea of what was to happen next.

And then I felt his finger parted me and slide in.  I whimpered again, softly, quickly.  How foolish could I have been to not be honest with him before now?

He removed his finger as I found my breath.  Then, he re-inserted two of them back inside me and I lost it again.  He began putting his fingers in and taking them out, again and again.  The sensors inside me, those little bumps on the way in, came alive and were sending me so many sensations I was beginning to have trouble keeping my modesty intact.

And my hands!  My stupid hands!  I didn’t know what to do with them.  Should I have placed them on the bed?  Should I have placed them on his legs?  Should I have placed them on my thighs with the palms up?  Argh!

I felt my hips involuntarily begin to rock back and forth with each stroke of his fingers.  I was nearing an orgasm already.  But if I came, would it be over just as quickly?  And what would I miss out on that would have followed? 

I wanted to cum for him so badly, but I didn’t want it to end yet.  If his fingers were able to do so much to me, what else might … other parts of him … be able to do … to me.

My mind began to slow down, no longer free to wander as I neared what was building up to be an eruption.  Right as I was about to peak, he quickly slid the shirt down my arms, tossing it across the room in an act of aggression that excited me.  I wanted to see more of it from him.

And I didn’t have to wait long to see more as he planted me on my back, removed his fingers from inside my peach and ripped open the diaper tapes still fastened on my left hip.

He leaned over me and gazed down at me with a want in his eyes I hadn’t seen before.  I had no idea if the aggression I just saw meant he was about to get rough.

My pulse quickened.  My breathing became short and rapid.  I looked up at him with fear, but it was a good kind of fear.  I wanted him to do what he was thinking and I wanted him to know the fear in my eyes was only there because I was uncertain of what I was supposed to do.

And my stupid arms!!  I still didn’t know what to do with them!!  So I placed them at my sides with the palms flat on the bed.  He reached up, removing my pigtails to allow my hair fall freely on either side of my face.

I was bracing myself for what was to come as he slowly slinked his way up my body until he straddled me evenly and our eyes were directly above and beneath one another. 

Then something occurred that I couldn’t quite explain.  We came face to face and the room became quiet.  The background faded to black and the world seemed still.   All I saw were his eyes, those beautiful eyes that had pierced through my body so many times.

And then it happened.  Oh God, it finally happened.

It started with just his tip touching my outer lips.  It was a different feeling than his fingers, not because it was his organ, but because of the power I knew it possessed and I could feel the power within it, just by being touched by it.

His head penetrated my opening and my eyes grew big immediately.  He was so stiff and so strong and I knew that in moments his erection would be parting me, opening me wider than I had imagined.  My fantasies were already intense, but Daddy’s thick, stiff cock was going to show me the miscalculations I had made.  I quivered at the thought of it and suddenly craved him even more.

But honestly? … I was scared out of my mind.  He could see the fear in my eyes and he recognized it to be different than the fear he saw just a moments ago.  Being a caring individual and a gentleman, he catered to my fear.

“Shh, Shh, Shh,” he whispered, making me feel little all over.  “It’s okay, Lily.  I’m right here.”

Slowly, yet deliberately, he entered me with careful precision and understanding.  He filled me to my capacity and continued entering until our pelvic bones touched.  I had no idea he would feel like this.  I stared at him with a jaw that had dropped, unable to look away and unable to make a sound. 

I was his lamb for the taking, completely within his power and under his control, emotionally and physically.  I existed beneath him in ecstasy only because he allowed me to enjoy the moment and because he nurtured my heart and my body every step of the way.

He withdrew himself even more slowly than he entered, knowing the relief I felt would be wonderful.  It was only as he withdrew that I realized how full he had made me.

And then he re-inserted himself, this time with a greater force and speed.  I followed him along, arching my back as high as I could until our pelvic bones touched again. 

He withdrew and re-entered, beginning a continuous motion.  I was writhing in elation and agony, both at the same time and then separately.  All the way through it, he never stopped whispering the most sensitive words to me. 

My heart was pounding with the rush of blood.  My body was thrusting back at him.  My mind was clinging to every bit of comfort his sweet words could offer.  My eyes were locked in his gaze and showing my diminishing strength.  He was touching every corner of my being without wavering from driving me to the summit.

And then it happened to me.  My canal tightened, involuntarily, and I uttered out a moan I could no longer hold back.  The orgasm formed at my core, just as it had done when I rocked myself on his thigh this afternoon.  But then it shot out through the rest of my body and I seized up, unable to do anything but lay there.  I wanted to continue thrusting.  I wanted to continue pounding myself back at him, but I was paralyzed.

And he never stopped.  It was then that I experienced a new level of submission.  No longer did I have to make the conscious decision to obey him.  Now, I had no choice.  My body was obeying this constant stimulation which had turned to erotic passion and I had become a slave within my own being.  The orgasm drove higher and higher with more intensity than I thought I could handle.

Then the orgasm descended down and out of me and I was left with a warm feeling throughout that seemed to absorb everything he kept giving to me. 

Suddenly, he shuddered and I felt his cock thicken.  Oh my God, that felt wonderful.  I closed my eyes for fear that they would bulge out of my head as the penetration became much more severe.

Then he was rocked with the first effect of his orgasm.  My peach grew wetter, preparing to join him in our Utopia, the Shangri-La that made this dreamland.

Then he shuddered again, this time more powerfully and all at once, he dug his arms underneath my back, one supporting my head and the other holding the diaper firmly to my bottom as he heaved me upwards into his arms and sat up.  He knelt on the bed and threw his head back as he came.

His seeds shot into me, penetrating the little space that remained within me and hitting my back wall with a heat I couldn’t have possibly imagined.

Being held higher in the air than he was, I looked down at him and saw a lust in his eyes that told me he had just done something he had long been waiting to do.

He just kept coming inside me.  I believed for a short while he wouldn’t ever run empty and I was sure after this night that it would be a while before I was empty again.

We ballooned down from the orgasm together.  I went limp; finally falling victim to an exhaustion I didn’t even know was there.  He placed me down on the bed, faithfully keeping the diaper underneath my bottom. 

(Little did I know, the inside of my diaper was drenched with our fluids.)

The four kitties wandered into the bathroom in a single-file line: Athos, Porthos, Aramis and D’Artagnan – all wandering what was taking Lily so long on the toilet.  She smiled at them as they all walked up to her and brushed their soft hair on her shins, D’Artagnan sniffing at the diaper lying around her right ankle.  She picked up D’Arty, as she called him.  He was the runt of the four and the most affectionate of all.

Hmm.  Affection.  How she loved the sound of that word and, even more so, its meaning.  Perhaps that’s why she surrounded herself with a plethora of pets.  That way, she was assured she would never be alone.  Not being alone was a vow she made herself years ago as was the vow that she would one day have a baby, despite her terminal illness.

It seemed everything was working out for Lily.  Emptiness had been replaced with purpose.  Her Gypsy Thoughts had been forgotten and now she had a place in this world to call home.  Feeling her bulging middle, she was happy to know that death had no place here, only the creation of new life.

But the fear of death or of being separated was something that repeatedly plagued their time together.  From Lily’s sickness to a car accident that almost took Zeke and her Dog, Pretzel, from her.  It had become a theme, like the night she and her sister, Taylor, raced to Lancaster General Hospital when they heard that Zeke’s mother had fallen ill.

Lily thought back on that night:

“Where is Susan Williams?” Taylor asked the attendant at the front desk of the hospital.

“And you are?” the attendant said with a monotone voice as she began checking her computer with a slower-than-molasses pace.

“I’m her daughter!  She was brought here by ambulance.  She was having a heart attack!  Now where is she?” Lily stated loudly and clearly, not putting up with any more attendant delays at this stupid hospital.

“She’s down that hall, third door on the left,” the attendant said, pointing to the hallway behind her.

They raced to the room and saw his mother, lying on a bed.  She was definitely conscious for all the noise she was making.  A heart attack may not have been the only problem as his mother shrieked of abdominal pain.

“How did you two find out I was here?” his mother asked.

“Zeke called and told us,” Taylor replied, taking Zeke’s mother’s hand in her own.  “He’s on his way back from New York.”

“Ohh,” his mother said.  “Call him back and tell him to not rush back here.  The way these doctors are moving, they probably won’t get around to seeing me until next week.  There’s no reason for him to race back here tonight.”

“He was heading home in the morning anyway,” Taylor said.  “Besides, I think it was a foregone conclusion he would be driving back tonight once he found out about this.”

“Uhh.  That’s my son for you,” his mother said, grimacing in pain.  “He’ll give up a night of sleep for no reason.  And with the gas being so high these days, I don’t understand him sometimes.  He’s becoming more and more like his father as he gets older.”

Nurses walked up to her and attached an IV line in her arm, giving her a sedative to help with the pain.

“That should help with the pain, Mrs. Williams,” the nurse said.

“What’s your name, young lady?” his mother asked the nurse.

“Sarah,” the nurse replied.

“Do you have any children?” his mother asked her.

“No, Ma’am. I don’t,” Nurse Sarah replied.

“Well I hope whatever drug you just gave me was full-strength,” his mother said.  “The pain I am feeling is worse than what I felt in child birth!  Take my word for it, this hurts!”

“The sedative should begin to take effect in just a few minutes, Mrs. Williams.  Try to relax,” Nurse Sarah said.

His mother flashed a look to the nurse that could burn through steel.  The nurse, understanding her presence and attempts at calming the situation weren’t working, walked away.

But within minutes the drugs had taken enough edge off the pain to help Zeke’s mother relax just in time for them to whisk her away for a series of scans to see what was wrong.

Taylor and Lily were sent to the emergency room waiting area.  And there they sat, trying to call Zeke to see where he was in the return trip.  Zeke would get there about a half hour later.  Taylor filled him in on what happened, and the pain his mother was in.

Zeke summarized the phone call he got from his mother moments after she called 9-1-1.

“She told me she was having pain in her upper left arm.  That made it sound like a heart attack,” Zeke explained.  “Then she felt pain like she hadn’t in a long time.  Then she called 9-1-1.  She went downstairs, unlocked the front door and lied down on the rug in the antiques room of her house.  They arrived, treated her there and took her away in an ambulance.  That’s all I know right now.”

“Did you call your brother?” Lily asked.

“Yeah and he’s on the way up from Delaware,” Zeke answered.  “He told me to call him as soon as we know anything else.”

A few minutes passed and the doctor came out into the waiting room.  He sat down with them and filled them in on everything, up to the minute.

“Your mother did not have a heart attack, luckily,” the doctor said.  “It’s her gall bladder that is the current concern.  We need to do an emergency removal.  The scans showed her gall bladder is badly infected.  We suspect it ruptured about six hours ago.  When this happened it began leaking gas into her system.  The horrid pain she felt in her left arm, which normally is a sure sign of a heart attack, was simply the gas leaking to an area where it shouldn’t have been.”

“Well that’s good news,” Zeke said, relieved.  “So what’s the next step?”

“We’re going to keep her here overnight and remove her gall bladder at 8:30 tomorrow morning,” the doctor said.  “She will be put in a room on the fifth floor, probably in about a half hour.  You are free to go up and wait for her there.”

“Thank you,” Zeke said, shaking the doctor’s hand.

They took the elevator to the fifth floor, all three of them saying they were feeling a little déjà vu about the fifth floor.

Standing outside of the room being prepped for Zeke’s mother was Mrs. Johnson, the same nighttime nurse who had attended Lily during her week-long stay at the hospital.

They walked in the room and had a seat.  Taking Taylor’s suggestion, Zeke got on the cell phone with his brother, filling him in.

Lily stared out the window at the Church steeples around town just as she did when she was a patient there.  Then, something made her leave the room.  She wandered down the hallway and turned right following the path to the pediatric wing as she did before. 

She walked down the corridor with the windows that shown into the different rooms as she had done with Annie and also with Mr. Woody in her dream.  When she got to the hospital nursery, she looked once again at the baby who had been found in a dumpster a few weeks ago.

“You can’t have her,” a voice that sounded a lot like Taylor said behind her.

“Why not?” Lily asked, placing her palms on the window as she looked longingly at the baby.

“She has a family already,” Taylor said, putting her arm around Lily and joining her in viewing the baby through the glass.

“You didn’t hear the update, did you?  Her father threw her in a dumpster,” Lily remarked.  “He doesn’t deserve her.  Look at her little face.  She has a whole lifetime ahead of her to love and to be loved.  I know what it feels like to be treated unkindly by a father.  You should know that, Taylor.”

Lily rarely called her older sister by her full first name, but she did this time.  Taylor was taken aback by this, but understood why, seeing how serious Lily was and how she and that little baby in the hospital nursery had something in common.

Cautiously, Taylor continued reasoning with her little sister.

“Yes, her father did do that her,” Taylor admitted.  “But the mother had custody of the child and the father kidnapped her, throwing her in that dumpster.  That girl is going to be okay and she’ll have a wonderful Christmas with her family.”

“That’s the best news of all,” Lily said, happy that the baby would be taken care of, but sad that she wouldn’t get to do it.

“Come on, Sissers,” Taylor said, taking Lily’s hand.  “They just brought Zeke’s mother up.”

Taylor and Lily walked, hand-in-hand, back to the hospital room.

Reaching for toilet paper, Lily thought back to that little baby in the hospital and how she wanted so desperately to take care of the little girl.  With hindsight now, Lily recognized her inner need to be a mother.  And Lucy, the beloved, yet-to-be-born daughter of she and Zeke, would be arriving soon.

And when Lucy was born, a lot would change.  But the things that counted the most would never change.  No matter what happened, she and Zeke would always be together and they would always have Lucy to love.  Even if Lily became so sick that she was bed-ridden or so weak that she became confined to a wheel chair, her determination would never cease.  And neither would that of her precious Daddy.

Zeke had remained with her through times so tough and so difficult that not even Lily could explain her erratic behavior, her outburst of anger and her irritability with practically everyone and everything around her.  A lot of other guys would’ve run, but Zeke remained.  And so long as she still wanted him in her life, she knew he’d be there.  The power was always in her little hands and her little heart.  

They worked as a couple, as a Daddy-n-BabyGirl and they would work as a mother and a father because they both kept working at it.  What they had discovered was that two who worked together accomplished so much.  And the fact that she didn’t shut down was the perseverance that made the difference.

She recalled having once said to him:

“Zeke, you weren’t supposed to show up in my life yet.  You were early.  I was supposed to have all these issues worked out before you met me.”

It seemed impossible to her that she could spend life with someone who had seen her at her worst.  But, now sitting on that toilet, seconds-minutes-hours or days from becoming a mother – whichever was the case, Lily realized that Zeke had shown up at the perfect time in her life, when she needed someone like him the most.

Through it all, he remained with her – though her emotions were skewered at times, her judgment impaired and her body riddled with what was, in reality, a terminal disease.

She could’ve used him, easily.  And then moved on.  But the lessons of life taught her that the only happiness within one’s life that will remain is the happiness created by one’s self, not the happiness stolen from others.

Zeke had given and given and given to her, asking nothing in return but to be loved and appreciated.  And she gave back to him the same, knowing that the journeys she felt were worth traveling with him would lead to a destination that was worth standing still in with him.  For a lifetime.

Bracing herself with steadying hands on the walls, Lily shifted her center, arching her back and heaving her pregnant bulge forward as she tried to stand up from the toilet.  Pregnant peeing had become an art-form and a challenge at the same time.  And after all of this, she dared anyone in this world to say that it was easy being a woman. 

She finally stood up – somewhat straight yet with that ever-present lean she relied so much on to keep her balance for the past few months.  Stepping her left ankle back into the diaper at her feet, she quasi-squatted in place to pull the diaper back up around her waist … when her water broke.

Another Sample: Making New Friends and Getting Poopy

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The Zeke and Lily Literary Universe
Zeke and Lily: Once Upon a Beginning Zeke and Lily: Overnight Zeke and Lily - Making a Memory Zeke and Lily - Her Diary Zeke and Lily - Ever After Zeke and Lily - Dream Catching Zeke and Lily - Resolutions Part One Zeke and Lily - Resolutions Part Two Zeke and Lily - By Summer's End
Zeke and Lily - For A LifeTime 

  Lily     Book 1   Book 2  Book 3 Book 4  Book 5  Book 6   Book 7 Book 8 Book 9 
Book 10 Book 11

Also attached to this series is:

Aria and the CountrySide

Taking place simultaneously with the end of book 6.

The Story of Lucy

Taking place years later.


Zeke’s cousin finds his Daddy side.

Full Force II: Dream Land

Dakota’s tale of forced regression continues when she schedules a regressive therapy session with a lady who turns out to be Lily’s Aunt.

The Creole Crawl

Zeke and Lily appear in a karaoke night at the famous New Orleans bar.

If you like the Zeke and Lily Literary Universe, I would also recommend:

……… The Mia Series ……….. and  …….. The Country Rose Series



11 responses to “Confessions In the MoonLight

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  11. Pingback: Breaking Free From What Holds You Back – Part 2 of 2 |

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