It was early Saturday morning. Mia looked out through the kitchen window at Eric packing up the last of her belongings in the moving truck.
He had arrived late last night and, inside of about three hours, had managed to get all that she owned into the truck. He seemed possessed as he strategically and systematically used every square inch of the inside of that truck. His obsession may have come from something he realized once he saw the amount of stuff he would have to fit into that one moving truck. And now in hindsight, she realized too that she should’ve asked him to get a bigger truck.
When he finished packing the truck last night, he walked back in laid down on Mia’s little pink futon. She straddled her legs on either side of him and worked every kink of every muscle out of his stiffened back, resting her diapered bottom on his tailbone.
That little pink futon, a set of bed sheets, pillows and blankets was all that still needed to be packed into the truck.
They got up this morning and Eric made his signature egg, bacon, onion and sausage omelet and after a few quieter moments of her morning bottle of apple juice, he folded up the futon and carried it out to the truck.
She bit her lower lip while watching him struggle to find a way to fit the futon in the back of the truck. There simply was no room left for it. She had had that little pink futon since high school and she couldn’t part with it. Eric knew this and scratched his head while trying to figure out how to fit it in. After unpacking and repacking the tail end several times, he succumbed to the realization that he was going to have to jam it in.
So, he hoisted the futon up onto the top of the boxes, put his back up against it, grabbed either side of the tail end of truck and forced the futon in by giving it reverse pelvic thrusts.
She snorted, watching him do this, a reaction which caused her puppy to bark at her feet.
“Oh, Kitty. Come here,” Mia said, picking the pooch up and pointing to Eric out the window. “You see? I’m just laughing at what Daddy is trying to do so.”
Seeing it was Eric outside, the dog became excited, though it had just seen Eric five minutes earlier, but it had always been that excitable that easily and quickly since she first met it.
She thought back to that day Eric took her to the mall and bought her this dog. She was feeling quite little and as she contemplated what to name this dog, her fun-loving silly side took over, encouraging her to name the dog Kitty.
Kitty was a chocolate Labrador which, inside of the four months she had him had doubled inside, still sporting paws it hadn’t yet fully grown into. Kitty loved Eric, sometimes to the point of making Mia jealous for the attention he showed it.
“What do you think, Kitty? Is he a good Daddy?” Mia asked the dog, looking back out the window. “Should we keep him?”
Kitty barked its approval as Eric successfully got the futon packed into the back of the truck and still barely get the back door slid down and shut.
As she scratched Kitty behind the ears she stared out Eric, recalling how the past few months had changed her life.
She began with a simple inkling, a curious interest at best and, having happened upon Eric in a bar, saw those curiosities brought to life and transform her in a 24 hour period. That she viewed as chance.
Her weekends became filled with rediscovering herself, her ability to trust and grown with someone and her ability to live a life more of whom she truly was then she had ever known. That she saw as circumstance.
Connections were felt. Hearts were bonded. Realities were changed and the future finally came into focus, more vividly and prolifically than she could’ve imagined. That she viewed as fate.
She fell in love with him, knowing only that life with him mean more to her than life without. Her love turned to want and then to need. That she viewed as reality.
She found the ability to grow incrementally with him, keeping her feet on the ground at all times, even hen her head was in the clouds. But she was cautious nowadays about believing the fantasy, the fairy tale, the happily ever after.
When she chose to believe those things were real and attainable in the past, she was always given the rude awakening that came along with crash when the ever after was denied. And what these past disappointments had caused was an inability to believe anything was real or lasting or reliable.
But slowly, Eric had helped her to learn to believe again – first in herself because if she didn’t believe in herself, she would never believe in anyone else. Next, believing in love because there was a difference between being in love and merely being in love with the idea of it. Then, believing she could rely on him and share her emotions with him because lifetime was inclusive of everything, not just pieces of one’s self.
From the moment they picked this day as the move-in date, they didn’t miss a single weekend prior and one smile at a time, one heart beat at a time and one diaper change at a time – fantasy seemed attainable in the reality they shared.
She had learned to listen to him and by doing so, she felt little, cared for, cherished, adored, loved. It was a mixture of emotions which they continued to explore and her latest obsession was submission without question. She was his BabyGirl and the depths of submission not only enriched her passion, but her fulfilled the ache of every urge she had ever had.
She had no cold feet at all.
It felt so good to give herself up, to submit, to bare her heart, allow herself to be not only vulnerable but helpless to the risks of being hurt. It felt natural and right because, for the first and certainly only time in her life, she had a protector, a counterpart, a mate of souls who found the pieces of her which were broken, the gaps in that which was she and through a patience and devotion only understood by someone who needed just as greatly, completed the core which made her Mia.
No, there were no second thoughts about this at all. She had made the commitment to move in with him, to re-imagine life with him and evolve together. It wouldn’t be perfect and neither wanted it to be because the pathway to happily ever after was fraught with challenges and obstacles to overcome. And they would walk it, one brick at a time, even if those bricks weren’t yellow and even if the mornings weren’t always Christmas mornings.
Eric wasn’t the Daddy of her Dreams. He was the Daddy of a Lifetime, not just the one she saw when she closed her eyes.
“Yeah, I think he’s a keeper, too,” Mia said to the pooch.
She tucked Kitty under her arm, gathered her purse and belongings remaining, took one last look at her apartment and then walked out the front door.
It was time to believe again.
“You ready to go, sweaty Daddy?” she asked with a grin as she walked up to Eric and opened her mouth, knowing what his reaction would be.
It was playfulness like this which not only was fun, but made memorable the little moments which passed people’s thoughts by as precious.
Eric smiled broadly as he took the pacifier (attached to the collar of her shirt with a string and clip), and placed it between her lips. He kissed her on the forehead and she stepped into his embrace. He reached up under her skirt and patted her diapered bottom, one of many, many pats to come.
And now, she no longer had to dream about this moment or long for the day and lifetime it would encompass. It was now here. She had spent such time thinking about what that first instant would feel like when she and Eric connected, not during a visit, but at the beginning of something.
She smiled warmly, pressing the side of her face into his chest and knowing that what she thought wasn’t just right, but felt real.
Kitty started licking both of their faces, wanting in on the sweet moment. They both laughed, petting the pooch and welcoming it into the start of a union they nurtured and allowed to grow. And because of this, because they didn’t skip any piece of the journey, they were able to embark on a lifetime of destinations … together, as Daddy and BabyGirl ……. And Dog, too.
He took her around to the passenger’s side of the truck, opening the door and helping her step up into the front seat, yet another moment to give her the helpful pat.
She set Kitty next to her on the seat and Eric stepped up onto the foot railing to click her seatbelt around her. She fidgeted and whimpered, not liking any restraints to her movements ever.
“No fuss, BabyGirl,” Erica said sweetly as he gently drew his fingertips down the side of her face. “Go Little.”
Going Little was a term he used to instruct her to let go of all free will, to allow the ultimate feeling of vulnerability to enter her mind and control her senses, to follow without question and to love as if she had never known hurt.
She closed and breathed out slowly, opening them with a look similar to what Kitty displayed when wanting something really badly.
“That’s a good girl,” he said, kissing her forehead as his hand trailed don the side of her neck, over the material of her thin cotton sweater, through her cleavage and down to the hem of her flouncy skirt.
She loved it when he touched her like this. It filled her with a mixture of those little feelings he planted in her mind and those big feelings he planted in the urges within her frame.
His hand slid under her skirt and behind the elastic edging of her diaper, one of many, many checks to come. He owned every inch of her body and everything else which made her Mia and as they pulled out of the driveway she looked out the side window of her apartment and waved goodbye. It wasn’t a sorrowful departure at all, but one that made clear the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.
“Daddy?” she asked softly, removing the pacifier from her mouth. “Do you remember the other night when you said you wanted to know more. And I asked you what you meant and you told me you wanted to know my greatest obsession in life?”
“Yes,” Eric replied. “You said you’d have to think about how to put it to words.”
“Right. I think I found the words for it,” Mia said. “I think … but I’m not sure.”
“Try,” Eric said supportively, seeing the bravery she was displaying in having brought the topic of obsession up again.
“Being helpless. Not just being little or submissive, but being totally helpless. The obsession is having no choice, no powers of decision. It sort goes along with what you mean when you tell me to Go Little. I crave the thoughts you put in my head when you say that to me,” Mia admitted with a breathy tone. “It’s hard to explain.”
“Give me an example,” Eric said, intrigued by the truth behind her statements.
He wanted to know everything about her and maybe it was that thought which scared Mia – revealing all there was to know about her. Now, perhaps, it seemed she wanted to expose herself completely to him. And it was this possibility which had them both craving the results of this conversation.
“Okay,” she said, pausing to collect her thoughts. “We go somewhere and follow your lead without question. And no matter where we are, you remind me, every second that we’re there, that I am your BabyGirl. You test my submission over and over again. My heart races as I tremble, but I listen to you and you show me, one step at a time, that I’m safe.”
“All you need to do is dream,” he said.
“I love dreaming, but I also fear it because if I’m dreaming, then I’m also sleeping. And sometimes it’s hard to sleep. I’m scared that if I close my eyes, when I open them all the good things I had will be gone,” she admitted. “But I don’t want you to be upset with me for having said this.”
“I will never be upset with you for having told me anything that came from your heart,” he replied. “The mistake would be not telling someone what you needed to tell them.”
“It’s just that there’s a castle from the clouds that I know I’ll always be trying to reach,” she said sweetly.
“Don’t you mean a castle in the clouds?” he asked.
“No. I mean from the clouds,” she answered. “When it’s in the clouds you dream about it. I’ve all ready done that.”
“And now, you’re ready to believe it, but you can’t bring yourself to do that,” Eric said, finishing her thought.
“I never believe that something good is real. When I finally believe in the fantasy that’s when I wake up to find out it was a dream, and just another castle in the clouds,” she confessed. “That’s when I lose Hope.”
“It sounds like a vicious cycle that needs to be broken,” he added. “I firmly believe that nothing will happen to one’s self without dreaming first. The Dream is what tells the Heart what to look for. Believing is what enables one’s soul to follow. And Hope is what makes us pursue it all.”
“So how do I do all that?” Mia asked, honestly.
“Don’t look for the fantasy. Look for the reality which could include it,” Eric said, pulling off the turnpike and into a rest stop area.
He found a parking space and turned the engine off.
“I think you have all the pieces necessary to put the puzzle together,” he said turning to her. “And there will come a day when you wake up and the dream will be there, waiting for you.”
He placed the pacifier back between her lips.
“And at that moment, you’ll say Now, I believe,” he said, opening his door and extending a hand to her. “One step at a time Princess.”
She looked at the rest stop store and then back to him, realizing at test of hr submission was about to happen.
“Go Little, BabyGirl,” he whispered.
“Yes, Daddy,” Mia said, taking his hand and following him without question.
The Weekend She Believed.